Hoochie Coochie Dancer

(album: Ain't Nothin' Funny Anymore - 2021)

I got a brand-new girlfriend, she's hot from head to toe
I met her on the mid-way 'bout an hour ago
I may not have a future and she may have a past
But the fortune teller read our palms and told us this could last
One good thing about her for sure that I know
She's a hooooooooooooochie koochie dancer in this carnival show

She said you gotta see me dance and see me do my thing
And I was thinking wow I need to buy this girl a ring
She said her show was something I really had to see
And if I gave her $50 bucks she'd get me in for free

She said her mom is on parole, her dad's in Leavenworth
My buddies think I'm crazy but hey this just might work
So I asked my friend Bud Weiser "hey Bud what do you think?"
And Bud said what he always says "well first let's have a drink"
There's one good thing about her for sure we both know
She's a hooooooooooochie koochie dancer in a carnival show

And then we went behind the tent and that's when I felt a thud
I woke up just lying there in the sawdust and the mud
I musta hit my head on something, ya know it's dark back here
"No officer, I ain't been drinking... Well just a couple of beers"

The police found my wallet and my high school ring
I didn't know that they were gone, it's the darndest thing
I still feel kinda woozy from that corndog that I ate
I think I'll go behind the tent and just sit back there and wait
For my brand-new sweetheart, she'll look for me I know cause
She's a hooooooooooochie koochie dancer in this carnival show

"Listen officer, she was back there when I hit my head. She'll swear that it's all so"
She's a hooooooooooochie koochie dancer in this carnival show