Charlie Wins Over Japan

(album: Probably Racist - 2011)

Oh hello!
It's me, DJ Not Nice.
You know, there's been a little tragedy in Japan, man
Come help us out now...

There's a tsunami
If you don't believe me then go see on the news
Now we're all drowning
Oh no
Where did i put my little Pokémon tube?
And we're all staving
Give us money
We need to buy a little hot sour soup
We need wasabi
Eggroll
A little rice and noodle with tofu

Listen bitch-ass ninja
I have a judo dildo
And I have a yellow belt in tae-kung-fu
I know you think you're big
But you're fucking with Godzilla
So tell tsunami we're not afraid of you

Tell tsunami "Fuck-a You!"
(Do the wave, everybody! Do the wave! Everybody do the wave!)
Tell tsunami "Fuck-a You!"
(Put your hands up! Put your hands up in the air! Take off your underwear!)
Tell tsunam
OH HELLO CHARLIE!
(Winning, duh, winning, duh)
Adonis DNA and tiger blood in you
(Winning, duh)
You have no job so
Come on over
Come help us clean off all this water and poo
Tell The Situation
Forget the fucking Haitians
Stop the fucking flood with all your grease and goo
Come over for vacation
Enjoy the radiation
Don't worry, Japan doesn't have any Jew

Tell tsunami "Fuck-a you!"
(Woo! Yeah! Fuck you, tsunami! Fuck-a you! Fuck you!)
Tell tsunami "Fuck-a you!"
(Ooh, radiation, very nice. Hey, is it hot in here? Umm does this feel like a lump to you?)
Tell tsunami "Fuck-a you!"

Tonight, I die alone
Tsunami take my home
You have ten dollar? Let me have it!
Send it over from your phone!
Chinee soldiers are taking over!
"We've come to help you"
Suck my boner!
I no trust you!
"Why not? Fuck you!"
Fuck me? Fuck you!
"I'm gonna cut you!"
I cut you like chinee chicken!
"Fuck you bitch, get in the kitchen!"
I'm in the kitchen!
"Oh, then cook me up some fish and wash the dishes!"
Oh hello Elmer Qaddafi!
Don't just eat your toffee
Libya needs the water more than we do!
Tell tsunami "Fuck-a you!"
(I'm a ninja turtle! I'm a-I'm a ninja turtle!
Turtle power turtle power super magic turtle power)
Tell tsunami "Fuck-a you!"
(Gimme money we need money everybody give us money
I am ninja ninja turtle fuck you cowabunga dude)
Tell tsunami "Fuck-a you!"
(What the Japanese need right now is some tiger blood and 7 gram rocks!
Duh, winning!
I would be fine out there in Japan, I'm super fucking human!
They're losing, I'm....WINNING, duh!
How about if I come out there, cover all you Japanese in my tiger sperm
Winning, duh. Winning, duh. Winning.
Winning, duh, Winning, duh. Winning, duh. Winning.
Duh! Forget Japan, Japan is gone, nobody cares, it's Emilio Estevez!
Duh, winning.
Did I ask my father what to do about Japan? No. duh!
I'm a grown man! Hello? Duh, winning. Winning. Duh!
I don't need to hear what my father says. Duh, winning!
I'm 45 years old, duh...)