X0

(album: Calamity - 2020)

I'm not a person
Just a blood computer
Reflecting my taste with learned behavior
I'm just a vessel in a sea of actors
Escape the noose replace it with the dollar
Hoping that'll make me less of an impostor
But I'm just another chemical motor
Built from the ones who caused my mechanical failure

If they say that I am selling my depression but nobody wants to buy it
Why's it still there?
It's a nightmare
And if I said I wasn't lying to save myself from dying they'd still be there
Only to compare

I've made my piece with my broken pieces and I'll pay in blood
If that's what you need
I'll give you my skin so you won't bleed
'Cause there is beauty in a failed attraction
Hollow out my bones if it gets a reaction
What's the point of forcing all these fruitless transactions
If I can't hide the bruises swallowing up my actions?
The pain is a stem that will only grow
It may never show until the heartbeat plateaus

If they say that I am selling my depression but nobody wants to buy it
Why's it still there?
It's a nightmare
And if I said I wasn't lying to save myself from dying they'd still be there
Only to compare

Because everyone's the same
Everyone's the same
Only listening when called by name
Because everyone's the same
Everyone's the same
Hearing only when there's something to gain

Can I sell you a feeling?
Can a thought be bought?
I can give you the goods
Dying for a livelihood

I am nothing in the eyes of my creator
Selling my parts to the minds and thoughts of my enablers
Selling my soul to this old broken down machine
I am
Nothing

If they say that I am selling my depression but nobody wants to buy it
Why's it still there?
It's a nightmare
And if I said I wasn't lying to save myself from dying they'd still be there
Only to compare

Because everyone's the same
Everyone's the same
Only listening when called by name
Because everyone's the same
Everyone's the same
Hearing only when there's something to gain

I am nothing
I hope you feel something