Robots In Need Of Disguise

(album: Player Select - 2014)

[Narrator:]
Rolling out motherfuckers it's the Robots in Disguise
Led by Optimus Prime, a bot whose power never dies
Cars and vans and planes, fucking construction trucks
They're going under cover 'cause Decepticons don't give a fuck.

[Optimus:]
Autobots, it's time. We're rolling out.
[Autobots:]
Right!
[Kid:]
Oh my God, that truck is Optimus without a doubt!
[Optimus:]
Uh, no I'm not.
[Kid:]
Yes you are my dearest robot bro
You guys been on my lunch box since the 19-fuckin'-80s yo

[Optimus:]
Oh balls! Autobots, listen here
I think it's time to try to find another way to disappear
New disguises that our enemies could never recognize
Bumblebee become a burger! Prowl you are the side of fries!

[Bumblebee:]
Huh?

[Optimus:]
Do it! Don't you wanna light our darkest hour
Jazz you're now a birthday cake, you've got the touch I've got the flour!

Autobots, roll out
Let's show them what we're all about
We'll catch'em by surprise
When we're in disguise
As a trunk full of sprouts,
And a tiny Asian girl scout

Now the time has come
To rock the Decepti-scum
You better be alert
'Cause we can now convert
To a skirt, Polo shirt
And a little mound of wet dirt

Megatron will pay
As soon as I take on the form of this delightful soufflé, OK!

[Narrator:]
After hours and hours of transforming into stuff
The Autobots decided on a plan that's super duper tough

[Optimus:]
Those Decepti-dicks won't see us coming at all
When we roll up together as random kiosks at the local mall

Who'd even take to guess
That Bumblebee is selling cellphone chargers for 3 dollars less a cent,
They'll never know we're here
While we're hawking beauty products making teenage acne disappear

As if they could stop Ratchet before bitch
He's combined with Ironhide to form a turkey sandwich
And I haven't even mentioned the ace that's up our sleeve
He rocks a jet engine that'll make your ears bleed

He'll betray Megatron plus he's boisterous and loud
This is your moment. Come on, Starscream. Now break it down!

[Starscream:]
Hey, this...I'm Starscream
[Optimus:]
What?
[Starscream:]
I just...I just wanted say that Megatron you
[Optimus:]
Speak up man.
[Starscream:]
Megatron you're going down I'm gonna win.
[Optimus:]
Spea [Starscream giggling]
[Starscream:]
I'm gonna win, I'm Starscream
[Optimus:]
Oh, come on!
[Starscream:]
Starscream rules [Starscream giggling]
[Optimus:]
Alright, you know what? Forget it!

Autobots, let's fight
These enemies with all our might
Time to do what's right
And transform tonight
To 5 kites, egg whites
And a family of field mice

The Decepticons
Are now ten tanks and a giant gun
Well Grimlock's a rake
And I'm a warm milkshake
There's a small chance that we made a very tiny mistake

Well, it's too late now
We're the good guys and I'm sure that everything will work out

[Optimus:]
Megatron, you're going down [Gunshots]

[Starscream:]
Optimus I had real.. I a
[Optimus:]
Starscream, shut up!
[Starscream:]
Oh, mmm-k.