Everythings Better With Beer

(album: B Is for Beer: The Musical - 2018)

[Beer vendor:]
Cold beer, get your cold beer
Fresco your tonsils
Give your tongue a sleigh ride
Cold beer

Had a fight with your spouse?
Got a game to watch?
Got a show to watch?
Everything always goes better with beer

Fought with your spouse and feel like a louse?
Just hope to God there's a beer in the house
She'll have a good cry and feel much better
And so will he when his tonsils are wetter

'Cause everything's better
Everything's better
Everything's better with beer

Are you beat at the end of each day?
Are the bills piling up and the sky always gray?
Does your team just suck, always down in the cellar?
Have you always been a really bad speller?

Are you lonely, are you bored
Is your home a big mess?
Were you dragged to this show?
Come on, man, confess
Here's my advice to you, and to you
What you need is a brew, maybe two

Beer, my friends, take heed
A beer, is just what you need
Now it should be clear
That everything's better
Everything's better
Everything's better with beer

We got Amber and Lager, Pilsner and Stout
We got mexican beer with lime
Grab a dear friend or whoever's about
And let's party and have a good time

Put some grain with yeast in the Middle East
All these crazy wars might eventually cease
That's right, I'm talking about world peace

Even Albert, at the end of the day
Always called for "ein Stein"
He was a smarty, but he knew how to party
So let's follow his lead, we all know what we need
'Cause everything's better
Everything's better
Everything's better with beer

[Chorus:]
Beer beer beer beer beer beer
Beer beer beer beer beer beer
Beer beer beer beer beer beer
Beer beer beer beer beer beer

[Beer vendor:]
Ladies and gentlemen in the theater tonight
I tried to convince the producers to place a six-pack underneath each of your seats
But they said something about liability or minors or some licensing issues
Anyway, in lieu of that, I'd like to take a moment to console anyone here who may not have had a beer before the show
To you, having to watch this performance cold sober
To poor souls anywhere around the globe who haven't had a beer today
This one's for you...

Beer, my friends, take heed
A beer is just what you need
By now it should be clear
That everything's better
Everything's better
Everything's better with beer