How Will I Make It?

(album: Harlem's Finest: A Freestyle History (Vol. I & Ii) - 2003)

[Big L]
Aiiyyo, some people was born in heaven
with a silver spoon in they mouth
and had everything handed to them on a silver platter
and never had to work hard for nothing
(Pause)
Then there are some people that was born in the opposite world
of those that was born in heaven, which is called hell
and had to work hard for everything they got
and never had nothing handed to them... and never will

[1st Verse]
I'm only at the age of 10
And life already seems to me like it's heading for a dead end
Cause my moms be smoking mad crack
My dad went out for a fast snack, and never brought his ass back
Nobody knows how I feel, it's quite ill
Cause I had to steal to fill my stomach with a nice meal
Too ashamed to walk the streets
Wearing the same cheap sneaks and dirty outfits for weeks
Even my holidays got damaged
Cause on Christmas I asked Santa for a father and a hot sandwich
I just can't take it (uh-huh, uh-huh)
And every day I ask myself, 'how will I make it?'

[Chorus]
It seems like my life's been cursed
Ever since I was a child, and how will I make it?
I won't, that's how
I walk around with a frown; I got no reason to smile
And how will I make it?
I won't, that's how
Aiiyyo times was rough, I had to grow up foul
And how will I make it?
I won't, that's how
I always knew that I'd end up doing time on the Isle
And how will I make it?
I won't, that's how

[2nd Verse]
Five years passed by, now I'm at the age of 15
No more fun and games, it's time to get cream (word up)
Cause I'm about to burst, it's like my life was cursed
I went to church, prayed everyday
And it still got worse
Soon I ran into a couple of guns
Started stalking the streets, slate robbing suckers for funds (give it up, give it up)
Now everyday I creep with the heat
Ain't nothing sweet, I rob for meat
If I don't steal I don't eat
Then I lost control and started going too far
Robbed this brother named Umar
Then got snatched by the blue car
Where I grew up it was a living hell
Then I started to realize – I'm better off in a prison cell
Now I can sleep, now I can eat
Can't hit skins, but I wasn't hitting skins when I was in the street
Aiiyyo I just can't take it
And every day I ask myself, 'how will I make it?'

[Chorus]

[3rd Verse]
Doing time was full of stress G, all the
Fighting's and stabbings and men finding men sexy
One tried to test me didn't find it humorous
Beat him with a pillowcase filled with cans of tuna fish
My time came to a cease; I'm back on the streets again
I hope I don't get snatched by the beast again
But it's getting crazy hectic
Cause I'm broke, get up naked
And can't get a job cause of my jail record
Before you know it, I was robbing them same ducks
I even started robbing homeless folks for they change cups
My whole life was deserted
Either I'ma go back to jail or get murdered, but do I deserve it?
All I tried to do was live the one life that I got
But it seems like I can't get a fair shot (word up)
I just can't take it (uh-huh)
And every day I ask myself, 'how will I make it?'

[Chorus]

[Big L]
Word up man, it's real rough out here man
In the ghetto, all you can wish for is a better tomorrow
It ain't getting no better, it's only getting worse, word up...