How To Get A Number One Song

I have a dream (Dream-dream-dream-dream)
I have a dream to make the best pop song that the world has ever seen
But everything (-thing, -thing, -thing, -thing)
Every song I release-lease-lease, it doesn't even get in the top 17
Even though I made the chord progression bland and predictable
Stick to same note when I sing and I'll
Periodically throw in meaningless syllables (Eh, eh, eh)
It's vague enough to relate to, I can make you bang the bass with a great tune
I can make a catchy synth pattern on my strangely small keyboard (Eh, eh, eh)
It's not too heavy, it's not too light (Light)
Just edgy enough for the clubs but not so much that people won't go and buy
But though it's perfect, I don't know why
My song won't get to number one

'Cause you didn't get a Swedish guy to produce it
A Swedish guy to write your song
A Swedish guy to produce it
You won't climb up the charts without a -berg, -ström, or a -sson

So why do I need a Swedish guy?
We're top of the pops, look on Wikipedi-eye
Brittany, Pink, you guys made the hits
Let me change this bit, å, ä, ö
You're gonna be major rich from these scenes
Yeah, we got the seventh largest GDP
And the most hit tricks per capita
So make the beat trap and and add a sax here
Woah, that beat is cash No, that beat is Krona
And I pay my relatively high taxes just with my strangely small keyboard
Sweden's just the best at making all the pop
I don't know why, but Swedish people have a way of getting to the top

You need Swedish guy to produce it
A Swedish guy to write your song
If something's new in electronic music
Just take it from Beatport and put it after this part

Falk and Rami took on One Direction
Made their chart positions go up like the wrong inflection
Denniz Pop made Cheiron, took the charts and jacked them
Max Martin's on more number ones than Michael Jackson
Yo, Ishi bringing British pop to the mainstream
Redone went gaga with his insane beats
Shellback's jams got a rock flair
Makes a stronger correlation between talent and long hair
Alternative bands give thanks to Jay Orpin
And you've got Bogren, Thordendal, and Nordstrom
Avicii went to new levels Wait, what?
I almost forgot, we're even better at metal
Ah! You produce this? In the pit or in the clubs, it's still our music
Every country that came and tried, they lost
Because it's just not the same without the sideways cross

So get a Swedish guy to produce it
A Swedish guy to write your song
But saying that is ironic
Because Swedish people don't tend to be patriotic