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Ethel Cain

Powerline Valley

 

Powerline Valley


When I met you there underneath the powerlines, I'd start to cry
To wash you away
Cause I'm a goddamn fool and I knew you'd ruin my life
In the fever dream
Of a summer haze

I was 19
You were 21
My mama said she loved you
She wasn't the only one
You lost yours back
When you were 15
You forgot softness
And what the word means

But I've come to know you like you forgot
You knew yourself

Gave you my virginity under the overpass
Static tearing up your daddy's stereo
You were pouring sweat and I was bleeding out on your seats
But we just laughed to death and held each other close

Valleys of powerlines
We drive by day and night
Stretching for miles away from here
We talk of running
Straight shot just gunning
Until we're out there in the clear

It's been hard here for you
But I know, I'm trying too
All alone in this town
In this Alabama wild
Nothing stops if not for you
But I'll always love you and you know I will

We spent September on the backroads
Shotgunning warm bud lights down a sinner's rabbit hole
By the fire, taking off my dirty blouse
I let your hands do things that no one needs to know

And I love you like you won't ever know cause you get too caught up in what they tell you to

I'll never forget the night or the paper in his hand when you found your daddy there swinging from the ceiling fan
By that belt you fucking hated
That left the marks I don't ask about
All I know is I've never seen you hurt as bad as you do right now

Now you crush up pills to forget
And you crush up more to sleep
You crushed yourself into a ghost
That I can't reach when you're inside me
And I take each blow you give me
And I keep them as a gift
At least you can still bear to touch me
And when you throw you never miss
It's been hard here for you
But I know, I'm trying too
All alone in this town
In this Alabama wild
Nothing stops if not for you
But I'll always love you and you know I will

You'd been gone for days when I
Heard the news that you'd been found
Shotgun in hand in your daddy's field
Sprayed out all over the ground one last time
I wish we'd have left while we still could
But I'll do what I promised you I would
And let those powerlines take me somewhere

It's been hard here for you
But I know, I'm trying too
All alone in this town
In this Alabama wild
Nothing stops if not for you
But I'll always love you and you know I will

When I met you there underneath the powerlines, I'd start to cry
And then I'd let you in
Cause I'm a goddamn fool and I let you ruin my life
But if I had the chance
I'd do it all again

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