A Letter To Everyone Who's Hurt Me

I thought it was normal to watch your parents fight
It Taught me dysfunction was just part of life

That loves just a word that we use to excuse our mistakes

Now I can't tell if I'm
Afraid or just jaded
I guess I'm just scared to end up the way they did

How do I unlearn the ways
I deal with pain
When that was all that they taught me

To everyone I've loved who's let me down
Let this letter hold what I can't say out loud

What do I owe you
For who I became
Should I say thank you or curse your name

Do I give you credit
Or all the Blame
Cause growth and pain
Always feel the same
Feel the same

I try to avoid it, when I meet somebody new
I fall for the same shit
That I did with you

Cause there's comfort in chaos
And that's why I kept you around

It's insane to me
That this could be
The medicine and the disease

A Cigarette that's killing me
Yet I still want to breath in

I keep trying to wash off this smell but it's stuck on my skin

What do I owe you
For who I became
Should I say thank you or curse your name

Do I give you credit
Or all the Blame
Cause growth and pain
Always feel the same

I wanted to fix this
I thought we could change
But when will I learn
That's a damn mistake

And I'll keep on giving
Til my body breaks
Cause growth and pain
Always feel the same
Feel the same
Feel the same

Still don't know the difference
I hope that can change
Cause love and hate
They still feel the same
Feel the same