On Hold

(album: Full Circle - 2020)

I'ma burn blunts till this pain go
I'm on a hunt for a rainbow
But there ain't no pot of gold
Seeing me end with my brains blown
I'ma get money, count peso
So do as I say so
I still got my ex on hold
Yeah, yeah

That's how you do me? Like, go and spit on my face
Heartbroken, every single mistake
I can't focus, like I'm living ashamed and living in pain
I think of the decisions we made, they still move me
Could've died together and ride together
Alive when we lied together
My mind slide in the night for a Kylie Jenner
I one-time Jeff, I died, your life is better
So I'd be out your pic, the frame is still moving
Ounce of the shh, I blaze and stay stupid
Bounce on my shh, bitch, I make music
Inspire my mind, I write to make movies
But shit, I deny and lie and chase groupies
And sluts that are down to fuck, then blaze doobies
You know, the ones with buns and fake booties
That screaming they 'bout to cum when they do me
Yeah, me and them went to war a lot
It's probably why she wanna talk a lot
Wanna fight me, then fuck me, punch me, then love me
And somehow, she's the one that calls the cops and plays victim
No wonder I stay distant
I could tell now we're all grown up
I could tell she was bruised within from losing him
I choose to see that she was all closed up
When you lost our son, you lost the sun
Feeling like it's my fault you lost your love
And yeah, I'm feeling like it's my fault you lost your trust
Now I'm drowning in lots of drugs, it's not worth it
Yeah, I heard you got a man on your wish list
You're about to start a business
I got your letters back in Christmas
I kept a drawer with the memories and pictures
Yeah, shit, girl, I used to get high with your sisters
They was like a fam to me
Showed me what a man could be, a fam could be
Ah, please shut the fuck up, Chill
Yeah, sometimes I was stalking that
Check your 'Gram, have a scan, where the stories at?
Let me say, every time that I called you back
You ignored all the calls, I'll applaud the fact
But shit, girl, I used to get high with your sisters
They was like a fam to me
They showed me what a man could be
Ah, fuck, that's twice now, shut the fuck up, Chill
Yeah, sometimes I was stalking that
Check your 'Gram, have a scan, where the stories at?
Let me say, every time that I've called you back
And you ignored all these calls, I'll applaud the fact
'Cause that's what I'd do, I deserve that
Let's get high, boo, baby, burn that
Fuck good one last time, ah please, never mind
And pretend you never heard that
Fuck yeah, girl, now I'm stressing, where this herb at?
Shit, I just burned through the third pack all in one week
Now I gotta do a chorus before I bring the verse back
Yeah, I better bring the verse back

I'ma burn blunts till this pain go
I'm on a hunt for a rainbow
But there ain't no pot of gold
Seeing me end with my brains blown
I'ma get money, count peso
So do as I say so
I still got my ex on hold
Yeah, yeah

Hey Mum, remember when you had triplets
And we only got twins?
Sometimes I wish he had've survived
And be apart of a life that we all gon' live but
I guess that we all got things that
We locked away to block the pain
I had the devil in my ear, got a lot to say
But calm down, Chill, rock on the J and call your mum back
Ahh, I'm alone and smoke vivid
Thinking 'bout the night that you told me to go get it
I only see my brothers a bunch, every few months
They must hate they're alone, I know I should go visit
But I'm out on the road with smoking dope women
Getting twenty-five racks to show, then blow Swishes
Ten racks on clothes, the bros live it
Now I got the pressure and stress that goes with it
Nah, fuck that, I'm thinking, fuck this whole image
They told me to never meet your idols
In the end, your friends become rivals
"Keep your enemies close" becomes vital
Everything that I touch became viral
But one of these cunts just get violent
In the end, I laugh and just smile, like "Pfft"
If you wanna jump me, you jump me, you won't, though
We don't really want no smoke, bro
But I ain't hiding, shh be the postcode
A third eye open like a GoPro
Had him on a string like a yo-yo
But I remember when Olga passed
I never got to visit and that broke my heart
So Ma, please know, if I die from this life every night
That's my fault, I chose this path that I chose
I deal with emotions hard
And that's probably why I swallow these drugs
And bottle it up and count on my brotherly love
To do this shit for my brothers above, and that's real talk

I'ma burn blunts till this pain goes
And I'm on a hunt for the rainbow
I found out that there ain't no pot of gold
You'll see me end with my [*gunshot*]