fucked up all the time

(album: started in college (mixtape) - 2020)

I'm so sick of feeling so fucked up all the time feel like I'm living someone else's life
I'm in the car on my way home
So I cry when no one knows
Ever since I was little I dreamt of a good life
I'd find a good wife settle by the seaside
I'm losing hope
But no one knows

Feel like every day I'm losing friends
That we're meant to be
Sharing laughs with the no ones sat next to me
Why is it so fucking hard to grow up

And it's always easy from a distance
Like to think that I can make it
But the closer I get closer, I get hurt
And it's always easy
When you fake it
Convince yourself that you can make it
But through all the growing pains I'll never learn
Never learn

Maybe you're the reason I'm fucked up all the time
And I don't need to fight
Or spend all my time with you
Why do I look for your approval to think that I'm right when I know that you're wrong
And you don't need to stay for a while
But I know you won't hold me tight
Damn I wish you would hold me tight

Feels like every day I'm losing friends
That we're meant to be
Sharing laughs with the no ones sat next to me
Why is it so fucking hard to grow up
And do what's expected of me

And it's always easy from a distance
Like to think that I can make it
But the closer I get closer, I get hurt
And it's always easy
When you fake it
Convince yourself that you can make it
But through all the growing pains I'll never learn
Never learn

But would you stay
Would you stay
Would you stay
Would you stay
And I know that it's hard for you when it looks like I'm falling apart
But would you stay
Would you stay