H.O.P.E. (Hold On Pain Ends)

(album: 19 Days Apart - 2017)

We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
I always hoped for better
Maybe together you and me find
Baby, I know things'll get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

Listen, I always say that I been through worse
But there's been times in my life where that pain was a first
Yelling at the sky like "God am I cursed?"
Like "Why am I alive why am I not under dirt?"
All days amazed as I try to find a purpose
As I constantly investigate but only scratch the surface
I'm done taken now it's time to be a servant
Striving to be perfect it has always left me nervous
I know my worth, I know what I deserve
My grips gotta be firm when that tragedy does occur
And look I finally gotta taste of that thing I always wanted
And I'm the living definition of turnin nothin into somethin
That agony I know it all to well
I only thought about myself but in times I failed
I've been cut, crushed, and abandoned
Can't you tell?
I've been beat, broken, and battered I've been dragged through hell

We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
I always hoped for better
Maybe together you and me find
Baby, I know things'll get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

It's hard to have hope in the midst of a struggle
It's like I'm seeing all the pieces but they never fit the puzzle
I had to stay strong, had to fight, had to suckle
This whole last year I held on white knuckled
And I gotta be the change that I wanna see in others
I'm embracing every storm and look I never need a cover
My life's a mess with this organized clutter
She's gotta be special if I'm saying that I love her
If I said it then I meant it never lying
I said I find happiness or I would die trying
I never pay attention to all the grief that I felt
I don't need your approval to be alright with myself
No concern and just learnin from all my blunders
I don't need that validation like I did when I was younger
Thinking I can make it through this determined that I can do it
Provin I'm heroic through expression in my music

We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
I always hoped for better
Maybe together you and me find
Baby I know things'll get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone
Be someone
Be someone

I remember when I didn't have a dollar to my name
Without a place to go drippin wet standin in the rain

I know things'll get better

They always do
But you gotta have faith that's a fact this is true
And this feeling that I got I admit it's been a while
It's important that I go to any length to make her smile

I always hoped for better

You gotta dream gotta chase it till you catch it
And nothin is what it seems
Thinking about my past all the dudes that I paid
No matter how lonely I get all I do is pay

I know things'll get better

I always pray I'm just fortunate to be alive and see another day
I can't call it quits cuz it's gettin rough
I'll do anything it takes before I'm givin up

I always hoped for better

So once again you gotta have hope, hold on pain ends

We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
I always hoped for better
Maybe together you and me find
I know things'll get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs