So Maternal

(album: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Season 2) - 2017)

[Parenting podcast host:]
On today's episode, we're talking allergies. Peanuts, dairy, eggs...how do we let kids be kids, but still keep them safe?

[Rebecca:]
Parenting ain't harrowing, demanding or traumatic!
Let's face facts, moms say that
When they're not this good at it!

Step aside ladies, give your babies
To a carol Brady level matriarch
The only hard part of it is, how hard I'll hit this
When I knock it out of the park!

Your hands (raise 'em up)
Your glass (raise it up)
Low expectations (raise 'em up)
Your children, I'm gonna raise 'em up!
It's instinctual, I'm a natural
I am tireless multi-taskical
My mom gave the flame and it'll burn eternal
Damn, I'm so maternal!

So maternal
So maternal
So maternal

Tommy, lunch!

[Parenting podcast host:]
You're listening to "mom time daily." And we're so honored to have super-mom Rebecca bunch here on our podcast today

Rebecca, you are one of the most incredible moms I have ever seen, even though you don't have any children and you've only been babysitting for less than an hour. How do you do it?

[Rebecca:]
First of all, I want to say what an honor it is for you to have me on your podcast

You know, I guess I just instinctively get how to be a mom and that's what sets me apart from other "mothers"

[Parenting podcast host:]
Agreed, other mothers are losers

[Rebecca:]
Heh, yes

Gonna keep 'em warm, gonna keep 'em safe
Gonna keep their homework free of mistakes
If a kid get hungry, I'll feed his face
A real wholesome meal—piece of cake

Here, have a piece of cake

Energy (let's bring it up)
The volume (DJ, bring it up)
My spotlight-light (god, bring it up)
Your children, you're gonna let me bring 'em up
It comes easily, it's effortless

[Parenting podcast host:]
Even Gwyneth said, "you're the best at this"
In her well-respected online journal...

[Rebecca:]
Good god, I'm so maternal!

So maternal
So maternal
So maternal
So maternal