The Black Spot (Deluxe Edition Bonus Track)

(album: Office Politics - 2019)

The black spot is what you get
When a pirate you upset
A decision you'll live to regret
But not for too long
The black spot awaits all those
Double crossing slimy toads
Who have contravened the pirate code
And done their crew wrong

The black spot's a sickening sight
Turns your hair completely white
If you don't die instantly of fright
Heaven help you
It's no empty idle threat
So pay up your gambling debts
Or the 53rd card in the deck
Will be dealt to you

When you're by the black spot cursed
Your blood boils and your veins burst
You can drink and drink and still
Your thirst is unquenchable
You get pustules on your face
On your legs, arms, chest and waist
You will itch and itch and itch
In places unmentionable

You're afflicted with the pox
Bits of you keep falling off
And you get a rather chesty cough
Which is never nice
You get nosebleeds that won't stop
Your extremities all rot
Anybody who receives the spot
Pays a heavy price

Let the black spot be attached
To an arrow and dispatched
Through the portal or the entry hatch
Of his galleon
Wish me luck, wave me goodbye
No first mate, just me this time
Sometimes sorrows come in single spies
Not battalions

When the black spot he is show
He will gasp and he will grown
He will scream and go
All to pieces
And there's much, much worse in store
For the pirate who ignored
His two sweet adorable nieces
You and me, sis