Sober

(album: The De2our - 2020)

Yeah, feeling sick again
Swore the last time was the last time
But look at me on a slip again
Wish I was different but it's always the same
So strained a feeling of that withdrawal pain
And all my friends they don't understand
It's been a minute since you got a bag maybe it wasn't that bad
And you can just have one now
And I'll be taking one balloon so high I'll never come down

So wake me when it's over I got to try to fix this
I'll call you when I'm sober or when I'm not resistant
I'm sorry that you love me, I know you hate it
Fucked up when I stopped being grateful and got complacent
I'm only high cause I been feeling this low
And that's the only make it back to normal I suppose
And I know you think I'm perfect but all of that's a facade
And trying to hide how I been feeling is lonelier than I thought
So put the bottle down, I really don't trust what I do
I make the worst decisions sober that's the fucking truth
Cause I don't take the first hit when I'm already blitzed
I take it clear headed uncomfortable in my fucking skin
You don't know what I've done
I swear to God that if you did
Then your heart would be broken into a million pieces
Had it all but I lost it in a blink
Afraid to ask for help cause I'm afraid of what you think

Mama I'm so sorry I'm not sober anymore
Daddy please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me we've been down this road before
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore

And I'm just hoping for some happy in the end
Trying to be a hero I can't even save my friends
You don't know where I'm at or where I'm going where I've been
So don't try to pretend
I've got an itch I'll never scratch but I'm going until I bleed
Like who the fuck are you to tell me what you think I really need
Cause I've awoken up a beast that never stops until it feeds
And it's been eating me alive inside my dreams
And I don't mean to make you nervous when you think of me
Everybody is leaving me it's hard to find someone to relate with me on this frequency
I'm sitting in another meeting on the west side
Raising my hand again
This was not the plan again
Just sick of being sick
What's that insanity?
Like it'll be different this time but it's never different though
And it doesn't happen quick it happens gradually
And I never thought that life would be this fucking difficult
Just got a feeling I'm losing and maybe that's a fact
Maybe these feelings are feelings I shouldn't treat as facts
Like it'll pass if you just try to let it go
But you will never understand the way it gets when I'm alone no
I don't know how to love I swear to God that if I did
Your heart wouldn't be broken into a million pieces
Had it all but lost it in a blink
Afraid to ask for help cause I'm afraid of what you think

Mama I'm so sorry I'm not sober anymore
Daddy please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me we've been down this road before
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore

I can't do this all on my own
You're never too far gone to come back home
I can't do this all on my own
You're never too far gone to come back home
I can't do this all on my own
You're never too far gone to come back home