Haven't Been Doing So Well

(album: FTHC - 2022)

It's a day with a Y in it, so obviously I'm over it
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
And I've tried not to worry, and I've tried being sorry
For being born in the wrong place at the wrong time

'Cause I've been messed up, stressed out, talking to myself again
Locked up, left out, terrified of everything
Wound up, found out, waiting round for something to give

Don't you ever wake up and suspect
That you were simply never cut out to be
The kind of person they expect
The person you intended to be?
And I keep it all in with my idiot grin
And I'm doing my best, but there's very little left
So cut me some slack if I crawl back into my shell
I haven't been doing so well
I haven't been doing so well

I got a brand new name for an old, old friend
The doctor said it's "anxiety"
And it makes a lot of sense 'cause I've been so tense
Some days I find it difficult to see

'Cause I've been hemmed in, penned down, struggling to find myself
Caved in, cut down, scared of everybody else
Dragged in, dragged down, searching for a reason to live

Don't you ever wake up and suspect
That you were simply never cut out to be
The kind of person they expect
The person you intended to be?
And I keep it all in with my idiot grin
And I'm doing my best, but there's very little left
So cut me some slack if I crawl back into my shell
I haven't been doing so well
Couldn't you tell?

If self loathing was a sport, I'd be Muhammad Ali
'Cause I can sting like a butterfly and sink like a bee
But they don't hand out medals to monsters like me
Oh well

I haven't been doing so well
Maybe I could do with some help
I haven't been doing so well
Maybe I could do with some help

'Cause every day I wake up and suspect
That I was simply never cut out to be
The kind of person they expect
The person I intended to be

'Cause I'm not Joe Strummer, not Muhammad Ali
Not a teacher, not a builder, just uncomfortable me
And maybe, just maybe, I'll admit that I could use a little help
I haven't been doing so well