Soul Searchin'

(album: Still On The Rise - 2020)

Soul searching
Days like this I wish I didn't get phone service
Self-destructing sometimes it seems like it's on purpose
My biggest fear is going through life with the wrong person
Question it, is it all worth it?
When you think of death, do you get all nervous?
I spend my life tryna shine through them drown curtains
Tucking on my problems, pretending like it was all perfect
Then Love Yourz hit me
The grass is always greener, I need to cherish who with me
Complicated love it feel like Bobby next to Whitney
I need someone in the spot like just so I know that they get me
I wish she was she lost my confidence
I never turned her faith, I always moved on off commonsense
I let my happiness only stem from accomplishments
And now I'm falling off so I'm suffering from the consequences
The more I'm speaking positive, the less they listen
And the more that I'm evolving, they just reminiscing
And the more I get rejected, then the less I do
I lost my love for this shit, and I blame you

And I'm soul searching
Soul searching, soul searching oh no no
Soul searching, soul searching, soul searching

Yo, I'm digging deeper than I ever did
Momma wasn't sure about me, glad she let me live
Imagine what would happend if she never did
A lot of people in positions that I left them in
I think about my fears how they are still in me
What's real for you is never real for me
What you do in 20 years, I do it in a week
And what I always hoped to be, I already achieved
But now these people questioning my skills
I'm questioning myself 'cause they ain't copping what I sell
I'm reaching out for help, but don't nobody got the answers
I'm begging for a change, I'm finally praying I can feel
I'm going through the motions 'cause I'm paying all the bills
I got it in the moment, so I might as well just chill
But that ain't never been me, it's a frenzy in my mind
Will I see the other side? Maybe, only time will tell