Becoming Me

(album: See For Yourself - 2016)

I used to wash dishes at Applebee's (making like seven something an hour)
Since girls don't like the smell of Mozzarella sticks (before I party I gotta take a shower)
And then we getting fucked up, spending what I just made at work nigga
A muthafucking shame, hundred dollars to my name but I still made it work nigga
Kicked outta school, like a fucking fool tryna play it cool cause you know that (you did something wrong)
Drinking liquor next, tryna call your ex, tryna ask for sex but that love is (love is so far gone)
Asking Justin what we doing tonight?
Instead of thinking bout the chance I might have ruined my life
Might of ruined everything that I worked for
I let my family down, that made it hurt more, damn

Lonely Nights I stayed awake
Don't know how much I can take
Will I bend or will I break? yeah
When the day does finally come
I'll look back on what I've done
I can say that I've become yeah, I've become me

Fast forward seven years yeah
Cried so many of these tears, yeah
Embraced so many of my fears
I ain't never been religious but I hope that heavens hears
So many things keep me awake at night
I left some people behind to try to make it right
I booked a couple of shows I'm tryna make a flight
Looking in the mirror acting happy tryna fake it like
Nights that I tried, wishing that I died
Said I never cried but a nigga lied (I was so damn wrong)
Made a lot of ends, lost a couple friends
Text it never send yeah the one that says "What Is going on?"
Asking Justin what he doing tonight?
He deployed overseas yeah he true in the fight
And I'm so close to getting what I worked for
I gotta stay focused and just work more damn

Lonely Nights I stayed awake
Don't know how much I can take
Will I bend or will I break? yeah
When the day does finally come
I'll look back on what I've done
I can say that I've become yeah, I've become me

Stood there, alone and confused
Not really sure what I should do
Where I should go
The only thing I could hear was a cold pale silence
Encompassing my heartbeat
I knew the sky was blue and the sun was shining
My mindset was telling me otherwise
What could I think? Everything was fleeting away from my grasp
Was I done? Or was this only the beginning?