Can't End Myself

(album: Forgotten Freshness, Vol. 6 - 2019)

This is a tale
A long forgotten tale of wicked mayhem
A man whose own personal Hell was his own life on earth
So therefore, in Hell, he was granted just that:
Eternal life on earth

I shot my wife in the head. I blamed the bitch for everything
She's the reason I failed. It's 'cause of her I ain't a king
I tried to carry on; I couldn't. My decision: suicide
I put the shotgun in my mouth and whipped my [?]
I felt my world shake. [*bang*] I felt my thoughts catch on fire
My skull exploded in my head. Tremendous pain was acquired
My body hit the floor. I felt cool air hit my brain
All the same, I still remain. My pulse maintain
I ran into the bathroom. I checked myself in the mirror
I had a bloody mouth, and plus the back of my head wasn't there
I'm steady bleeding. I started freaking, ran and jumped through the glass
Some thirty feet into the driveway. I smashed at last, I passed
But not so fast. I'm still alive, and I'm driving
I thought about giving it up and going to a hospital
But then I seen a truck coming. Fuck it. I hit the bitch dead on
I walked away minus a head and an arm

('nitruh m'I .deyonna tog I litnu ssa tuo tihs gnikcuf rehtom eht dewalc tI .yot a ekil ydob ym koohs dna edis ym no swal sti dekcol tI .noil a deppals-hctib pu thgiarts dna ooz eht otni llaw a deppoh I ?gniyd em dna em htiw pu s'tahW)
I can't end myself
I have no head
No fucking head!

People are tripping on me. I'm looking like the living dead
I can't explain my situation 'cause I have no fucking head
I just keep trying to die. What's up with me and me dying?
I hopped a wall into the zoo and straight up bitch-slapped a lion
It locked its laws on my side and shook my body like a toy
It clawed the mother fucking shit out my ass 'til I it got annoyed
I'm hurting heavy now. I took some sedatives to relax
About two hundred Xanax and passed out on the train tracks
I scored some Anthrax. I rocked it up and did a few lines
I smoked it up and tried to shoot it through my neck a few times
I'm trying to talk through my neck hole, but everybody's running
It's only gurgles, and all this fucking blood won't stop coming
I got into the bathtub and cut my legs off with a saw
I tried to bleed to death, but filled the tub, more blood than I ever saw
Won't stop coming. My heartbeat won't stop drumming, I'm bumming
I'm just a headless paraplegic on a skateboard. Help, someone

('nitruh m'I .deyonna tog I litnu ssa tuo tihs gnikcuf rehtom eht dewalc tI .yot a ekil ydob ym koohs dna edis ym no swal sti dekcol tI .noil a deppals-hctib pu thgiarts dna ooz eht otni llaw a deppoh I ?gniyd em dna em htiw pu s'tahW)
I'm trying to end myself (End myself)
No legs
No fucking head
One arm left, on a skateboard

Still got my arm, and I'm scooting, people giving my ass a booting
Thank got these slutty-ass hooker hoes be out here prostituting
I got my dick sucked, I get it bitch, I rock of the Anthrax
She smoked that shit, and her heart exploded, fucking blew out her back
I tried to scoot along, but a big stray dog locked onto my arm
And then it dragged me to a dumpster with about fifteen more of them
And I was punching on 'em. I ain't gonna die, and they biting my ass
I found a beer bottle. I broke it and started stabbing 'em with the glass
I pull myself on, grab the bumper of a passing Grenada
I'm hanging it, dragging rocks and gravel, hurting a lot
I'm about to fall out. We hit a corner, and I hit a tree hard
And with my broken-ass arm, I crawled into somebody's yard
And in the shed, I found a wood chipper. I thought, "This is it"
I pulled it out and got it running and climbed into that bitch
And now I can't explain the horror or the pain. I'm still here
But I feel myself being eaten by the maggots, each piece, everywhere

SuseJ says, Lord, I stand at the door and knock
[?]
Yadot traeh ruoy fo rood eht no gnikcon si suseJ
[*screaming*]
Burn for
Salvation of me
And of my words
My words
Are in Jesus
As sinful [?]
As sinful [?]