Steven

(album: The Road Less Traveled - 2013)

Yeah, look
Let me tell you about a kid named Steven
He's slowly running out of things to believe in
Every couple of months his mom leaves him,
For no good reason his step-dad beats him

Not too many friends, only ever had a few of them,
But recently they don't want anything to do with him
Always eating lunch in the bathroom stall,
He just wants to feel normal and be cool again, yeah

Always feeling like the outcast,
He's been going crazy ever since his dad passed
He needs guidance and advice
But instead he only has breakdowns and flashbacks of the car crash uh

It's been getting harder everyday,
If he was still around everything would be OK
'Cause his dad was always the light at the end of the tunnel,
But now that same damn tunnel is looking dark and grey

He keeps quiet in the back of the class
And when the bell rings Steven hurries home fast
He's scared to death the other kids will kick his ass on the long walk home
'Cause it's happened in the past so

He's getting used to the black eyes and fat lips
But all he's got is a fake smile and cut wrists
Wishing he could walk right up to them, show them the scars
And say, "Look, you're the reason that I've done this."

And maybe they would finally understand
And go back to how it was before it all began
But he's just a little different so they taunt him and they beat him
Yeah it's all just fun and games, they don't give a damn, yeah

His older brother ain't around,
In and out of jail, hanging with the wrong crowd
He's been doing coke, smoking weed, getting drunk all his life he's a shame
No, he's not too proud

Now his habits are rubbing off on his little bro yeah,
But guess what? Little did he know that every time he did a line,
Every time he lit a joint,
Every time he took a shot he would set the mode,

So Steven's sitting in his room getting high now
Doors locked, music up, with the lights out
He just takes another toke 'til his room fills with smoke
5-6-7 hours 'til he knocks out

Now he started stealing pills from his mom
8-9-10 at a time and now they're gone
And maybe for a moment all his problems seem to fade,
But the high fades too after not too long

And that's when it really sinks in
And that's when it hits him
That these god damn drugs won't fix him
Curled up on the floor,
Can't take it anymore
Now he's talking to God
'Cause he's the only one that gets him

On his knees, looking up, can't stop crying
"God, I know we haven't talked in a long time
But this time I really need you.
Please, God, help me, say something, just give me a sign,
'Cause now I'm falling apart and I don't think that I can do it.
Please, God, give me the strength to pull through it.
Tell me, should I give up? I could end it all right now.
I just don't know if I'm brave enough to do it.

'Cause there's gotta be a better way than suicide.
Try to wait it out, give it time, you'll be fine.
But it's been so long and I still haven't been able
To get rid of all the thoughts that I feel inside.

So sick, so angry, so mad
And to top it off no one even knows that."
That's when he stood up, wiped his tears,
Walked over to his desk and got a pen and a notepad

He just couldn't see it getting any better
So on a cold dark night in December,
Steven knew exactly what he had to do
But first he sat down and wrote a couple letters

One to his step-dad, one to his mother,
Couple to the kids at school, one to his brother
Bringing them the pain that they once brought him
Tear drops on the paper one after another

"Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty
'Cause I'm broken now and you can't heal me
And now you're all an accomplice in murder
Each and every one of you've chipped in to kill me

So the reason that I'm writing you this evening
Is to say goodbye and tell you that I'm leaving
But don't hold your breath 'cause I ain't never coming back.
—
Sincerely yours, Steven"