Pill Talking

(album: A Beautiful Disaster - 2020)

I don't love you baby, that was the pill talking
I been running lately, avoiding my real problems

I'm just sitting here thinking there's gotta be more to life
For everything that I been through, my heart is colder than ice
Man it's frozen, I can't wait till this chapter closes
I'm hopeless, the bible full of pressed roses
Sitting on the counter reminds of times
That my eyes flowed like a fountain
My mind is full of cowards
Memories that I wish I could finally escape
I really wish that happiness had a time and a place

One thing I know it's so hard letting go
I hold on, to what kills me baby
Sometimes I know I'd be better alone
I'm so cold, I been damaged baby
I don't love you baby, that was the pill talking
I been running lately, avoiding my real problems

I'm addicted to the hurt, I like that shit
And if pain was a women, I would wife that bitch
I take the pin out the grenade, hold it and hug it
And let that motherfucker blow, I'm so self-destructive
Two words that describe me, savage and flawed
Cared nothing at all about the damage I cause
I walk out of a thang as fast as I came
Every time I try to change, it's gas to a flame
I get on a rollercoaster and don't even buckle up
Every time I get love I feel the need to fuck it up
I do it every time with no hesitation
I don't know why but I'm in love with self-deprecation

One thing I know it's so hard letting go
I hold on, to what kills me baby
Sometimes I know I'd be better alone
I'm so cold, I been damaged baby
I don't love you baby, that was the pill talking
I been running lately, avoiding my real problems

There's something else that I feel in my soul
For so long I know my heart has froze
Just how it goes, it's the highs and the lows
This I know, this I know

One thing I know it's so hard letting go
I hold on, to what kills me baby
Sometimes I know I'd be better alone
I'm so cold, I been damaged baby
I don't love you baby, that was the pill talking
I been running lately, avoiding my real problems