Ramblin', Scramblin'

(album: Driftin' Way Of Life - 1969)

Rambling, scrambling
Trying to get my mind untangled
Ain't never seen nothing in the whole wide world
That give more trouble than to try 'n' love a girl

Like most everybody I've had bad luck, you know I've been down and out and didn't have a buck
I've been hired and fired and loved and mistrusted and three or four women left me busted
Took my money... Took my loving... Took my toothpaste too

First went rambling a few years ago, some fool woman she tried to tell me no
I had an ol' leather bag it wasn't even mine, I had a heart full of sorrow and a tangled up mind
She done it... She kept squezzing toothpaste in my ear... She said I couldn't leave
Took 3 or 4 steps backwards and gave her a dropkick right in the crotch
Her eyes lit up and said oh your leaving... yeah

Yeah, I headed for New Orleans Louisiana and all night drinking and jazz piano
That music in the air will set your toes a tapping but those hustling women sent me a packing
Lickity split... I split
Met a gal down there said she came from way out west, said she could roll a cigarette with just one hand
She proved it... she rolled me with the other

Yeah, I grabbed my bag I had my hat in my hand, took the advice to go west young man
I figured now I'd finally learned my lesson, me and women weren't messing
Met another un... Wasn't too good looking... But juggs whew
I'm not saying she's a big chick or anything but one time I did ask her what size bra she wore
She said 6 7/8. I said my god what did you measure it with?...She said Stetson whew

Yeah well, I got to Californ-i-a, I figured it was time I headed her my way
She was talking about us and having a home and I was talking about us and living in Uncle Henry's basement
She said what... said she didn't understand
I proceeded to take 3 or 4 steps backwards and give her a dropkick right in the crotch
I said honey I believe in treating women gentle but first you've got to get their attention

Yeah, the same things have happened over again, every time I meet a woman she tries to pin me in
Found the only way to handle a woman is to keep your bags packed, keep moving, stepping lightly
Eyes forward, proud, determined, masculine
Probably get horny
Can't live with 'em and you can't live without em
That's why I write so many of these weird songs I guess