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JT Machinima

Garden Warfare 2 Rap Battle

 

Garden Warfare 2 Rap Battle

(album: Power-Up - 2016)


[Chorus:]
Garden Warfare, it might sound quite absurd
Plants and Zombies are rising from the Earth
They all look goofy, if that's what you prefer
But don't forget that it's the end of the world

[Captain Deadbeard:]
I'm your Captain, I demand respect
Avast me hearties, all hands on deck
When I man the cannon, every plant will panic
One Barrel Blast and I'll send 'em scrambling
A pirate's always got his Parrot Pal
With a trusty spyglass, I'll shoot ye down
See my pistol? She's a gleaming beauty
I've got a peg leg, but I still kick booty

[Citron:]
Have a glass of OJ, you look thirsty
Sounds like you got a bad case of scurvy
I'm cutting through the horde with my Orange Beam
Got an EMPeach to wreck your machines
Now clear the path, cuz I'm rolling in
Knock you on your ass like a bowling pin
This ain't Vitamin C that I'm dealing out
After I get my bounty, I'll be peeling out

[Chorus]

[Rose:]
To be a zombie, oh, what a shame
I'm a rose by any other name
A true sorceress of the organic sort
But my magic thistles are filled with thorns
Put you in a Time Snare and watch you squirm
Before I put you back under the dirt with worms
Turn you into a goat, so you don't ba-ah-ah-other me
Look, Clark Kent got a lobotomy

[Super Brainz:]
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Brainz

[Rose:]
That's stupid, you don't even use the cape

[Super Brainz:]
Hey, if I'm the hero, you're the bad guy
See my jumsuit? (Damn, is that tight)
Don't make me tell you where I'll put my boot
I'll beat you to a pulp and cut your roots
I'm flying high, shooting super beams
I'm in every female teenage zombie's dreams

[Chorus]

[Kernel Corn:]
Kernel Corn, coming in hot
You better be ready for my Butter Barage
With a jumping Husk Hop and a well-aimed Shuck Shot
You wouldn't believe I'm only made of one stalk
See the trickshots that I'm popping off?
I have a hard time keeping it on the cob
I'll give you a show, so grab your popcorn
(I just ran out) Well, I've got a lot more

[Imp:]
You're the worst, what a corny verse

[Kernel Corn:]
Shut up, you dwarf!

[Imp:]
Being short can work
Size doesn't matter, ask my blasters
I'll crash this party like a bad disaster
Come get a load of my brand new toy
(Standby, Z-Mech's been deployed)
Launching missiles while I stomp around
Hey, which one of us is the smallest now?

[Chorus]

Have no fear, Super Brainz is here!
Seriously, that get-up is ridiculous
At least he doesn't eat compost for breakfast!
Coming from the midget who eats brains
Arr! Lame comeback
Let's see you do better
Arr, I'll admit, your scurvy line was pretty good
Hey, uh... thanks
Actually dig the outfit, man
Aye! Thank ye
Yeah, it's pretty cool

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