Steps 5 & 6 : Distant Ally

(album: Apologies In Advance - 2018)

When I started like really trying to work on myself, I started just like dropping a bunch of people and homies and shit 'cause... just because of the whole doing the same shit all the time, like kicking it on the same porch and like drinking and whatever, whatever. But then I also realize that... how do I say this... just going back to being in ally-ship and camaraderie \ with people who... when you drop those folks, you stop being there for them also, and I think recently I've been learning how to be that ally, but from a distance to where it's safe enough for myself also, you know what I mean? Where I'm not dragged down with you, but also like fuck with you, solidarity, love you, here for you, here for your work if you're working on yourself, but if you're not, also, I'm... you know what I mean? I think that middle ground has been hard for me to find, 'cause even just talking about how we need camaraderie, we need that foundation, but if you X somebody else out, that's kinda fucked up. It's important to build other folks up

I think for me, like, I'm my biggest issue. Like, I give, I give, I give, I don't know when to cut that cord. I think for me, like mentally, that's like what I battle with within. I think it's just finding that, like what you were talking about, finding when to cut the cord and when enough is enough basically without feeling like you're just being selfish for doing that, and that's what I struggle with the most