Not Alone

(album: Deathreats - 2018)

I'm walking out the darkness and I barely made it
Hope this reaches all the people who can not escape it
I was just like you, I was young like you
I was tryna numb the pain I was afraid of facing
I was tryna run away from the hurt
I didn't know what I would do if living felt any worse
I tried the pills and the therapy and none of it worked
I know it kills, but I want you to know that you ain't the first

Your people can't relate if they ain't felt it themselves
Feels like everything they say when you complain doesn't help
Your sinking deeper every day, when you're awake you're in hell
You think you changed along the way but now it's too late to tell
It's like you, were rolling with the thunder and fell
'Cause when the lightning started crashing I guess you did as well
Your demons kicking down the door, they're never ringing the bell
They just keep tapping on the windows 'til they fall out the cells

I know you're feeling defeated, you try to keep it a secret
Your weakness got you believing you need a doctor for treatment
But taking pills ain't convenient, so you keep looking for reasons
To go and flush 'em down the drain and find the faith to keep breathing
You lay and look at the ceiling all night when you should be sleeping
But you've been knee deep in pieces of dreams and failed achievements
You keep repeating the moments when you were beaten and broken
And now you're bleeding emotion, you just want someone to hold you

Well, me too

'Cause I've been standing on the edge trying not to jump
I only say it so you know you aren't the only one
The only thing that killed the pain was smoking weed and getting drunk
Before I knew it I had drank a case a day for 18 months
I was sleeping with a beer by my bed
"Last call" was all that I could hear in my head
I know there's too many of us drinking to try and forget
But who the fuck are we gonna "cheers" if we drink 'til we're dead

And when you finally get sober, you find the friendships are over
'Cause you don't have nothing in common if you're not getting loaded
You called them brothers, you called them family, you called them your blessin's
And now they call and you ignore the phone, and that's called depression
They try to tell you your misery is not an excuse
And you just wish they could spend a day tryna walk in your shoes
Just know you're not alone, I feel the same way as you
It isn't you against the world, 'cause I'm fighting 'em too

It's like you're losing control, until you drive right off the road
And when the vehicle rolls again you get thrown out the holes in it
Then you notice all of your bones are broken and all of your clothes are wet
Soaking with gasoline, light a smoke and explode with it
'Til the day that we're ghosts you'll never be on your own
'Cause I'll be standing in your corner 'til you need me the most
I was put on this planet to lift you up when you're low
And you have done the same for me so I'll be keeping you close

I love y'all