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Adam Calhoun

Dying

 

Dying

(album: The Throne - 2018)


Oh I think I'm dying
I will [?]
Oh I think I'm dying
I wish I was all around
Oh I think I'm dying

I'm gonna keep it real, whatcha know about taking pills
Popping these xan-, panic attacks
Losing my mind, feel like I'm dying, ha
I can't believe what I'm saying
You thinking I'm playing, I'm digging my grave right now
I'm crazy, you'd probably kill yourself
If you knew the shit that I was thinking about, ha ha
How can I breathe, cutting my sleeve
I'm watching it bleed
Maybe that will take the pain away
No more rainy days
You talking to me?
Just let me be, I need some sleep
Why you think I cut so deep?
You'll never see what's underneath
Please I need some peace

I'm gonna keep it real, I'm gonna speak how I feel
When I'm driving feel like swearving the wheel
Right and a left, you think that I'm playing
I'm treating every song, I'm writting my will, yeah
This one right here's for everyone out there that's like me battle depression
Been to hell and back and I can tell that I go back and just can't learn my lesson
Couting my blessin's but suck at the math
So every blessing I keep cutting in half
So all of my problems keep adding up
While my solutions keep cutting in half, yeah, yeah, yeah
Know that they hate me, they say that they love me
Don't call me crazy but I need the company
So fuck with me though, yeah

Oh I think I'm dying
I will [?]
Oh I think I'm dying
I wish I was all around
Oh I think I'm dying

I'm gonna keep it a mil, last year I made a million
Still it ain't change how I feel
Still fucking with the same bottle of pills
Went from my brothers basement to a house with no payments
And dealing with fuckers that I wanna kill
I gotta chill, I don't know how
I wish you could feel, what I'm talking about
I'm all by myself, talking out loud
No one can help, I feel like I'm drowing, ha ha
Shit is so cold, I'm losing control
I'm losing my soul, but I know I never sold it, no
Devil must have stole it, yeah
And that motherfucker is gonna have to deal with me
If I go to hell I'm taking over

I'm gonna keep it a secret, I ain't gon' tell nobody about these thoughts that are creeping into my mind
So you think that I'm fine
You think I'm crying wolf when I say that I'm dying, ah
I ain't gon' tell nobody that I'm scared of keeping guns in the house
I ain't gon' tell nobody that I actually put guns in my mouth
Fuck you know about
Russian roulette with a loaded gun
Handle of vodka and still ain't drunk
I cannot tell nobody that I'm suicidal, no I just keep it bottled up
Bottle of pills are the [?] razor play, [?]
Cross my heart hope to die, jump in [?]
No I'm not fucking playing, [?]
Thinking it's just a game 'til I blow out my fucking brains

Oh I think I'm dying
I will [?]
Oh I think I'm dying
I wish I was all around
Oh I think I'm dying

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