Apartment

Momentarily I felt you there while I fumbled through
All those photographs in the book
In a small apartment I am getting older
It feels like falling and not in the way that I want

Turning pages of smiling faces
It is unfamiliar, I've been faking lately
There's a dizzy feeling creeping up my spine
Fond and friendly, and memorized
Sharp and swiftly I am then reminded
Of the insincerity I now embody
I'm colder now, you wouldn't recognize me
I'm colder now and I'm not alright...

Nowadays when you lie in bed
Who is it lying in your head?
Is it love you make or do you take instead?
Are you broken now and so you choose to bend?
I wouldn't ask you if I didn't feel the same
I'm colder now, it's just who I became
Yeah, I'm colder now and I'm not alright...

Someday sooner than I'd like
I see a photo of you in white
With someone there by your side
With a different face than mine
With a smile you only like
Tied to a feeling you have to fight
You knew of heavier love when you were younger
It left a taste in your mouth that still lingers
You teach a lesson in compromise
And still I often wonder why
You know of heavy loss now that you're older
It leaves a pain in your heart that gets triggered
Guess I'll exist only in your mind
You stay busy and I'll stay quiet
You drop a line when you've got the time
And maybe let me know that you're alright
I hope you're alright