Even More No Homo (Skit)

(álbum: My Grandma's Basement - 2013)

[Phone rings]

[Jarren Benton:]
Who the fuck is this?
Oh fuck not this nigga again!
Hello

[No homo guy:]
Hey man
What's good man?
Ain't talked to you in a minute

[Jarren Benton:]
What's up man?
What's going on?

[No homo guy:]
Shit, man...
You know now's wife and kids gone for the weekend, man...
I got these wrestling tickets
Wanted to see if you wanna come with me, bro

[Jarren Benton:]
Naaah... I'ma be...
You know what, man?
I'ma fucking be probably be busy as fuck, man. (Hey, man! Come on dude!)
Got a lot of shit going on

[No homo guy:]
This is The Rock, man!
The Rock!
The sexiest fucking wrestler ever, bro!
Come on, man!
Come on!
My nigga, come on, man!
You gotta come...
But I'm saying...
Yo, that hair and the chest and them thighs, man...
I'm just saying...
No homo, bro. Really no homo
Listen

[Jarren Benton:]
Nah, I'm cool
I ain't really into fucking wrestling like that, my nigga
Thanks though, man

[No homo guy:]
Look, man... He's gonna be fighting The Undertaker, so they're gonna be slipping on each other
I'm just saying, man; it's gonna be a good night, man
You know, I come... I slide through
Get me?

[Jarren Benton:]
Nah, man. Naaah

[No homo guy:]
Look, no homo. Really
Just the both of us, man

[Jarren Benton:]
Nah, I'm cool, my nigga
Thanks though

[No homo guy:]
Hey man, listen...
What I really want to call you about though...

[Jarren Benton:]
What's up, man?

[No homo guy:]
Well, shit man... I mean, you know...
I'm saying... You know...
You never call me no more, man
What's the deal?

[Jarren Benton:]
I'm just fucking busy as fuck, man
Got a lot of shit going on
You know... Like I said, man

[No homo guy:]
Hey man... Real talk
No homo. I've seen them instagram pics
Shit man, you looking like you...
You look real good right now
No homo though

[Jarren Benton:]
Look... I've gotta fucking go, man

[No homo guy:]
Hold on, man... I still want to...
You know what I'm saying?
I mean what, you growing your hair out, bro?
I'm just trying to say, man...
You look like... You know...
Young [?], you know?
No homo or nothing, man, but I'm just trying to say like...
Hey, I don't know how to...
I really don't know how to say this, man, but like yo...
Ever since that last conversation I think things went kind of a little south, you know?

No homo, bro, but listen...
I've got feelings for you, bro
Everybody's been telling me I was gay, but I was like
"Nah, I'm not gay, bro. No homo. Really. I'm not gay, bro."

You know... people like...
Hey, you eat that hotdog weird and I'm like
"No, I don't, man
This is how people eat hotdogs
They swallow them like that."
Why do people think that that's gay?
I don't think that's gay
So I don't see... I think you gay for thinking that's gay

I mean like yo... No homo bro, but I know you've seen them porns and all of a sudden it's like three people
Two dudes and one girl
You like "Hey, that chick's gonna get it
Oh wait... Oh oh! They touching!"
I mean, if two dicks bump, why is that gay?
That ain't gay
That's just like two dudes like
"Heeey I'm more manly!"
That's like a manhood test, you feel me?
No homo. Definitely no homo
Two dicks touching; no homo, bro
Two dicks bumping tip to tip; kinda homo, but if side to side and like slapping each other a little bit, you know?
You shove them and giggle a little bit...
That ain't gay. You just having fun
You wrapped up in the moment
Bro, come on!
No homo. Really though. No homo. Definitely

Listen bro... You know me, bro...
We go back, bro. I am no homo
No, everybody now I ain't gay!
Listen... Just cause I kissed that dude one time at the club, everybody like
"Oh, he gay!"
I ain't gay, man! He kissed me
I didn't kiss him! He came up to me when I was drinking and was like"Hey!" and then he kissed me in my shit
What am I supposed to do?
Push him off? What the fuck?
I'm not a dickhead!
No homo bro, but that dude had some good smelling breath that night and his cologne was off the chain
I forgot to ask him what the hell that shit was though
No homo, bro. Come on, man!

Hello? Hey, you there? Hello?

[Intercept message:]
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again
If you need help, then hang up and dial your operator