Bullshot

Rihanna never hit me in a text
I take that as disrespect
So now I'm going to diss this set of celebs
Just for the swift effect
Don't care whether it's correct
This is the internet, we're here to misdirect
So don't get offended, it's just pretend
And I'm dissing them just to hit the trend
Ripping Eminem's latest song
It'd be thick to spend a cent on
Iggy Azalea, real name is Kelly
So maybe you're jelly
That Machine Gun's taking the credit
Your space on radio and telly
You've changed Katy Perry
Used to irritating but lately you're very
Whereas me, I'm the same as I was as a teenager
But with a way bigger belly
Oh, by the way I got a tip for J. Cole
Just shut your cake hole
Oh, ay Dolan Dark
These aren't memes, they're stolen art
You need to see a doctor
Grandayy, grab that needle, cold and sharp
Stick it in Logan's heart
Before the rematch show can start
He's overdosing on his own ego
We need Maxmoefoe so he can barf
At my birthday someone put on Paul McCartney
I said "Fuh you, don't spoil my party"
No one wants any more of the Carters
We only want Jay-Z or Beyonce
I can't say anything about Ariana Grande
Without making a teardrop
Andrew Huang makes music out of anything
Why not make it out of earshot
My career got big as Big Narstie
Now it's shrinking in size, Melissa McCarthy
I'm Dana Carvey, tryna recreate the fame of Garth
Dick Ayoade, you're not moss
And Minecraft's something you'll never top, notch
Beat the devil out of Bob Ross
Make him run out of red, blood loss
Does anybody watch Smosh
Or did they swap for Vanoss, gosh
But guess what, whatever it was
I bet it's not Jesse Cox
Went to the docks and I searched the whole harbour
Still couldn't dredge anything up as low as Nicole Arbour
Not even me when I'm dissing my own father
Or asking "Where's your certificate, Obama?"
Oh MC Lars, your tracks are like town on a Wednesday, empty bars
Damn, I'm begging you, Kendrick Lamar
Don't smoke, your flow's full of phlegm and catarrh
I bent my guitar tryna play like Brian May
I should make him send me the cost
But he might not pay
Off like calling iDubbz gay
Hey, didn't anybody tell J Cyrus
How stale vine is, you're past your sell date, Ricegum
Tyler the Creator a tireless creator of shiteness
Tried to get a Fine Brothers feat on a track
The cheek, they didn't even react
Don't know where to start Jacksepticeye
There's too much for track to rectify
That's the beauty, I don't have to specify
Cover up my tracks, I misdirect and lie
Jonathan Pie, a collar and tie
Won't hide your bile so curl up and die
Why do you even try?
Should leave and cry
Like Stephen Fry
Jeez, I sound like Pyrocynical
The kind of guy that finds it difficult
To say anything nice, he's like pinnacle
Of edgy teens, trying to rebel
It's nigh on as bad as Imalexx
And I simply don't like Callux
Markiplier? Bollocks
You can write that in italics
Casey Neistat is
Compensating too hard for his lazy life status
Making millions saying inane opinion
I'm hating Maisie Williams
In the same way you're hating minions
It's a silly thing
But I really think Lilly Singh
Shouldn't really sing
Jimmy Kimmel get off my homepage
And let me see more Limmy's show
Lately there's way too much Amy Schumer
Can't get rid of her, baby boomer
Had enough of that zany humour
I want her gone now, maybe sooner
JT Music, were you ashamed of your Machinima name
Or did you lose it?
Catch up, we're not living in a kingly age
Yeah, I'm looking at you Lindybeige
Won't see me in the club, there's a reason, ay
I dance like Theresa May
Recently I've been forcing rhymes
Eminem does it all the time
Now Shady's forty five
Anyone still check Shade 45?
By the way Olive Age 24
You're 24 any more
Just go away, Wroetoshaw
And on the way out close the door
Gamebody Jones should call it quits
I don't know what you're posting for
No one's coming for your show Paul Joseph Watson
There's no conspiracy, no one's watching
They just chose an option with no bloke who's foaming, frothing
Rode a Salford bus for several stops
Just to slag Gary Neville off
Now that Rap Devil dropped
I can attack Kwebbelkop
Travis Scott, I got goosebumps
When I burned the booth of Charlie Sloth
Shefali Oza, Weather? He hardly knows her
Give it up Stylosa, nobody's watching your show it's all over
Like Alex Jones looking trans phallic zones on his phone
Though he sprays transphobic rage
He loves dick, Bonecage
Dragging brains back to the stone age
Let's locate Post Malone's cave
Hey Prozd, looks just like an emoji, see
Give him the stink eye, I miss pink guy
How slow could Joji be?
An Eager Beaver, these people are needles
As Jessica Nigri's D D procedure
Don't need to hear Justing Bieber
Whiz Khalifa or Nigahiga either
I'm recalling Ethan and Hila
Getting all in Jordan Peterson's wiener
Breath reeks of lobster now
Better brush your teeth, call Lady Leshurr
Peter Dinklage needs elocution lessons
For better speaking English
Ay, Peter Serafinowicz
Look Around You's second season's really shit
I blame Graham Linehan personally
Says terf is a slur, but'll curse at adversaries
Doubt? Read all about it
Where on earth is professor Green now?
Emma Blackery ain't exactly singing masterly
New songs sound made in a factory
And that's flattery
Music quality descending rapidly
Now let me give Roomie a tip
Try improving your tuning a bit
Like the surgery boogie has picked
It's just a band, Scroobius pip
Hope nobody will want to sue me for this
Chris Brown already had too many hits
How many people can I humanly diss
And how many of them'll see the humour in this?
6ix9ine's too busy grooming the kids
Is he guilty? Yeah, I'm assuming he is
Chris Pine's no brilliant actor
William Shatner's really a bastard
Dizzee Rascal's as good at music
As Gizzygazza's as good at movies
Richard Branson sniffs his pants
And Arin Hanson that man ain't handsome
Jim Chapman might as well dress in drag
Or a bin bag
Fuck Big Styg and Syntax
Fuck Strippin and Sjin, twats
I don't donate to Philip DeFranco
Patreon hidden, it's filling his bank though
I don't hate him, I'm just jealous
Of him making dollars out of all you fellows
I make Jacob Rees-Mogg
Swap place with Snoop Dogg
And do drugs
With Joe Sugg
And Pewdie's pugs
Ozuna's music truly sucks
I truly hope Armando Iannucci's movies tank
Coochie coo, Lil Pump
Don't want to know what I'd do to you Gucci Gang
Donald Trump, what can I say that hasn't been said?
I'm all stumped
Like when I'm watching Watsy ruin
His career, what's he doing?
I'm obviously too envious of Stupendium
To be friends with him
Frankieonpc 1080p's outdated
Get a new Pentium
I'm heavily scorning Jeremy Corbyn
Anarchy's a better remedy for him
Could Ellen be more fawning?
Forget Stormzy, gimme a storm warning
I'm going all in
Jake Paul is appaling
Jay Foreman is boring
James Corden according to me
Is a great big ball of just boring
I'll call in and diss my Discord server
Till Brit's a bit more subservient
Brit, you're my servant
Nick, Jordan, all of you are boring burdens
I'm an insult hurling Birmingham boy
Pure vermin, slow-burning, Bo Burnham
And pointing out that Holasoy isn't so Germany
Do I rate Elro? Hell no
Potentially wish him well tho
Can't take it, but I dish it out
Tell Ricky Berwick to lick his elbow
Dudeperfect, you're as perfect as superfluous feuds
Worthless, never worked out what your true purpose is
Useless as Keem as a news Journalist
Fuck anybody who's heard my diss
Including you, you're deserving this
Put the word out quick
NerdOut ripped me off
I'm not sore about it
'Cause they're the new kid on the block
And I used to be hot, now I'm not
Like a burnt out whip
Miracle of Sound, you're really dumbing down
I can already predict your single coming out
I give Aaron Fraser-Nash a razor gash
You're a clown, Fabvl Chap, sit down
Shit, wow, look at Daddyphatsnaps' cruddy track
That's bloody crap, that
But still I might pirate it
Like I'm on a pirate ship
Flying a black flag
Oi, Henry Rollins
You're a Punk Phil Collins
Fuck Peter Hollens, and Jack Frags
Action Bronson's rapping nonsense
Elon Musk's an actual Nonce
He interrupted Andy Milonakis stream
And tried to touch his johnson
My stream of consciousness
Constantly leaking consonants
Upon the beat, incontinent
Concerts in three different continents
Concertinaed concept
Don't leave a comment
I won't read your correspondence
I'm more bothered reading
Boris Johnson's bollocks columns
Cheated on his wife and he lost the ring
So you can't blame the Hobbits, Gollum
Alex Wasabi, I'm sorry that you are not with Lauren
Sid Vicious, gone but not forgotten
Unlike Johnny Rotten
I'm not fond of Benedenedict Cucumberuphisbottom
Plus it's not often Hopsin drop something I bother watching
If I've got the option, I would rather watch Matt Hoss or nothing
Make a schedule Boyinaband
Stop going away and annoying the fans
But Faze Banks, stay away, thanks
I'm sure when you talk it's great bants
Nah, you're as awkward as a Ricky Gervais dance
So I'm already making escape plans
I wonder whether Drake wanks
Then shakes hands with underage fans
I'll sponsor Colin Kaepernick
Just to piss off the racist pricks
I'll take a shit and rub their face in it
Then make them pay for it
Fuck David Shrigley, JME
Fuck Daniel Craig, Xzibit
And absolutely fuck that Microsoft word Paperclip
I hate myself