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Tom Cardy

Jurassic Park 12: It's Dino Time!

 

Jurassic Park 12: It's Dino Time!


Today I woke up sick
So I took it easy (So I took it easy)
By watching and analyzing every Jurassic Park movie
Without further ado, I present to you
In a slightly feverish state
Idiosyncratic highly cinematic plot points that made Jurassic Park great
(That's 6 movies)
13 hours

Jurassic Park 1 (Let's go to the island)
They are truly beautiful and they all deserve our respect, run
Let's never go back to Dinosaur Island
Jurassic Park 2 (Let's go back to the island)
Oh, boy, they're truly beautiful and deserve our respect, run
Let's never go back to Dinosaur Island
Jurassic Park 3 (I'm going back to the island)
Wow, so beautiful, majestic creatures, run
Sitting in a helicopter full of bloody trauma thanking God that I don't ever have to fight another dinosaur
Jurassic World 1 (The fences are taller now)
God, they're just so beautiful and majestic and yeah, run
Promise that I'll not go back to Dinosaur Island
Jurassic World 2 (I'm going back to the fucking island!)
(La-la-la-la-la-la-la)
So beautiful, so majestic and beautiful
Let's never go back to Dinosaur Island
Jurassic World 3 (I fucking need to punch a raptor)
Chris Pratt does that thing with his hands (Dinosaurs, stop!)
I'm not gonna lie, I didn't watch I didn't watch this one (La-la-la-la, Dinosaur Island)
Jurassic World 6 (Send them to space)
Send the dinosaurs to space
Be free, dinosaurs, you can have your own planet, goodbye
Let's never go to Dinosaur Planet
Jurassic World 7 (Let's go fuck up those dinosaurs)
Oh no, the robot dinosaur I designed to beat the space dinosaurs accidentally had sex with them
Now there's a bunch of space robot dinosaurs

I should not have given my robot dinosaur a penis
Because like everything with a penis
It's gonna wanna use its penis (Jurassic World 8)
The space dinosaurs fight for the right to get married to the robot dinosaurs
And not just have sex with them

Jurassic World 9
The dinosaurs figure out how to go back in time
So they go back in time to escape the wrath of man
But then we... follow them back and then we fucking shank 'em
Jurassic World 10
They go back in time (You just did the back in time one)
This one, there's a multiverse
And all the other dinosaurs are animated musical dinosaurs

Oh my god, I'm gonna die

feito

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