My Secret Shame

Monday morning
And I feel just like I should (not good)
Oh Lord, please forgive me
Because I don't know if my friends could
(Don't know if my friends could)
My roommates sitting 'round the kitchen table like they just don't care
(But I know that they care)
This time I've gone too far

They're drinking tea from mason jars
And it's not ironically
They're drinking tea from mason jars
They're not drinking no ice-tea
Very very very hot tea from mason jars

Rebecca says, "Hey Tommy, how did you sleep?"
I say, "Good, but please don't look at me"
She says, "Why don't you want me to look at you?"
I say, "Fine, if Rebecca wants some looking time"
And then I stare at Rebecca
Stare at a "Nice work, Tommy, you're flying under the radar"
"Is this what you wanted, Rebecca?"
"No"
"Exactly, back the fuck up"

Harry says, "Yo T.C., I got a question that I'd like to ask you"
"What?"
"I was just unloading the dishwasher, I don't know where the cups and mugs, are do you?"
"Why would I know where ya fucking mug went?"
"There everybodies mugs, why are you so defensive?
Tom, where have all the cups and mugs gone?"
"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know"
"You said you don't know 8 times in 3 seconds"
"Fine, the truth is the cups and mugs are..."

In my bedroom and in my car
I've only got myself to blame
If you wanna know where I keep my shame
In my bedroom and in my car
Oh, God gave you an en suite and that's fine
He gave me a big thirst at bedtime

In my bedroom and in my car
(They're drinking tea from mason jars)
In my bedroom and in my car
(It's very very very hot tea)
I know I've gone too far when I wake up in the middle of a glass and crockery choir
In my bedroom and in my car