Church

(álbum: As Far As The Stars - 2021)

I need a short drink or a long prayer
I been sober but I don't care
I'm so scared of my own self
I get no help and that's no fair
So don't go there, I been hell and back
I got scorched hair in this Gucci cap
I got empty bottles and a million follows
I'll regret swallowing the Ativan
Fuck it, let's be real
I resent the way that I feel
I pretend that it's cool but I miss getting drunk
And I'm angry that God doesn't help when I kneel
Fuck it, I said my prayers
When I got clean, shit just got worse
I quit doing drugs and I pleaded with Jesus to save me
But he didn't hear my words

This shit don't work, it hurts
I went to church, now I need liquid courage
Whiskey in my glass, I take the knives
Out of my back to stir it
Go to hell and back again
Then show you burns to prove I earned it
I need shots or God to gain the strength I need
I'm just a person

I pray on my way
To the liquor store that they lock the doors
'Cause I'll lay in my grave
If the whiskey pours like it did before
I'm scared, I send out a prayer
Can anybody hear me, is anybody there
'Cause honestly it hurts, and every day is worse
I keep buying whiskey when all I need is church

I keep talking to God but he don't hear me
And my demons are there always listening
I get lost in the dark, drowning in whiskey
And I went in so far you say you miss me
I'm on a ship in a bottle so say goodbye at the shore
Break the glass and you'll find me, I'm not who I was before
Close my eyes in the darkness and hold on through the storm
I'm a wreck in a bottle, I wasn't built for war
Those church pews, bright lights
Whiskey glasses, bottles of booze
Make short days turn long nights
The bottle, the bible, I didn't know what to choose

I pray on my way
To the liquor store that they lock the doors
'Cause I'll lay in my grave
If the whiskey pours like it did before
I'm scared, I send out a prayer
Can anybody hear me, is anybody there
'Cause honestly it hurts, and every day is worse
I keep buying whiskey when all I need is church

I can't read but the bible's still with me
My eyes can't see from the bottles of whiskey
I don't believe anybody will miss me
And I'm on my knees, tell me, God, are you listening?

I pray on my way
To the liquor store that they lock the doors
'Cause I'll lay in my grave
If the whiskey pours like it did before
I'm scared, I send out a prayer
Can anybody hear me, is anybody there
'Cause honestly it hurts, and every day is worse
I keep buying whiskey when all I need is church