Universal Man

I was eight years old when my father left her
Why he left I never have been told
Though she tried so hard, it was too much for her
So I found myself out in the cold
And as the years wore on
Every day that just went wrong
It seems that I was made for some kind of joker's punchline

Universal man, that's what they call me
Universal man in all his glory
I got a fifth and raincoat kind of mistake, oh, oh

Universal man, that's what they all shout
Universal man, why did you drop out?
I thought I had your whiskey bottle to drink
Then I'll feel fine
Then I'll feel fine

I was just 18 (Just 18) when they came and took me
Said that I was guilty of a crime
Five long years I stayed in the penitent'ry
I was serving someone else's time
And when they set me free (When they set me free)
All the fight had gone from me
My face became a fixture down at the low queue handout

Universal man, that's what they call me
Universal man in all his glory
I got a fifth and raincoat kind of mistake, oh, oh

Universal man, that's they all shout
Universal man, why did you drop out?
I thought I had your whiskey bottle to drink, oh, oh

Universal man, that's what they call me
Universal man in all his glory
I got a fifth and raincoat kind of mistake, oh, oh

Universal man, that's they all shout
Universal man