Living Hell

(album: 99 - 2020)

I got a couple different devils, they all coming my way
I could be with you for now, but please don't ask me to stay
I don't know what I'm trying to say
I've got lots to say, lots to say, lots to say
Yeah

Hold on, I think that I'm 'bout to break
I got a couple different devils, they all coming my way
I could be with you for now, but please don't ask me to stay
I've been dreaming of the day, they'll know that I ran away
And I don't know what I'm trying to say
Well I know but I don't know exactly how I should say it
I wrote a song for you, I watch, waiting for you to just play it
I hate myself, I hate my life, and I don't like conversation
But I'm
So happy that you're with me today
I never felt so amazing baby thank you for staying
I never believed in anything but thank you for praying
My addictions adding up just from the shit I'm portraying
Disregard all the shitty things I said
And pick the pretty parts up out the words that work out
It's been a minute since I died and I don't think that I slept
I can never sleep at night and never got out of bed

I said please, just don't let me drown
Even if I ask you to
Even if I have to do this
I don't really know how
You got me drinking by myself
I've lost my mind and I can't tell
How I made something so beautiful into a living hell

Said I got a big problem 'cause I can't do a little
And everybody saying go to rehab, they don't get it
I'm not addicted to these drugs but I got other addictions
I'm just addicted to this feeling I can't find and I miss it
I walked the path to Babylon, and didn't find shit
Just me staring at me telling me that I don't know shit
I was on my knees staring at the [?]
I don't think I'll ever lose but I don't think I could win
All this pain can be so pretty when it's covered in wok
And I like being so hurt that I don't even talk
When you're playing it's gamble but you're loosing a lot
And when you run out of that paper someone's taking your spot
Said, this life could be amazing or this life could be great
Well if that's true then how can I live 'cause all I feel is this pain
So I think I need something don't need feelings today
And I think I need something to turn the feelings away

I said please, just don't let me drown
Even if I ask you to
Even if I have to do this
I don't really know how
You got me drinking by myself
I've lost my mind and I can't tell
How I made something so beautiful into a living hell