The Marvel Cinematic Universe Rap Up

All the fans around 'bout the get what the deserve
Listen as I run down the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe
From phase one to phase two to phase three
This is not chronological, it's in order of release
We got Spider-Man, Scarlet Witch, Drax the Destroyer
If you haven't seen the films, a final warning for spoilers
We going way back, almost twelve years ago
So without any further ado, here we go

In the very first spot, we got the homie Tony Stark
The only billionaire, playboy, philanthropist on the block
Kidnapped by terrorists, he ruined their entire plan
Turned a box of scraps into a fully-suited Iron Man
The guy who set him up was Obadiah Stane
Took the reactor out his chest and left Tony to die in pain
But with the help of Pepper Potts and Rhodie, he would soon prevail
Over the carbon copy Iron Monger, sent him straight to hell

Next is the scientist, name is Bruce Banner
He turned into the Hulk because he was fooling with gamma
He fled to South America trying to find an antidote
The army tracked him down, couldn't beat the green animal
General Ross was mad, wanted Banner to fear him
He injected Emil Blonsky with the super-soldier serum
On the streets of Harlem Emil raged as the abomination
But Hulk clapped him and pretty much stomped his face in

Ivan Vanko wanted to murder Tony Stark
He built an arc reactor fitted with whips and slashed his car apart
He was arrested, party time, Tony was loving it
Then Rhodie commandeered a suit and gave it to the government
After that Tony met the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Justin Hammer made a bunch of drones but Ivan's at the wheel
Now War Machine and Iron Man are fighting off the drones
Tony starts to realize he cannot save the world alone

Thor was about to be king, yeah he had the clout
But he was disobedient so Odin stripped his powers out
Banished to earth, now he's trying to get his hammer back
Meanwhile, his evil brother Loki had a planned attack
Releasing the destroyer to kill Thor and all his friends
Thor made a sacrifice proving he's worthy again
With hammer in hand he wins, retreated to his home
Loki "died" by suicide and Odin sat back on the throne

Okay, let's take it back to 1942
Steve Rogers tried to join the army but he's just a scrawny dude
So they gave him super soldier serum, now he's a fighter
But Red Skull's got the tesseract, the enemies hailing Hydra
Tried to bomb the shores of America, Rogers stopped it
Crashed the bomber in the arctic, he was frozen in a cockpit
For seventy years, Nick Fury found him and then he thawed him out
Told him that he wanted to save the world, yeah I'm talking about Avengers

Loki isn't dead, he wanted to rule the earth
And the fact that the Avengers fought each other made it worse
Loki stole the Tesseract from S.H.I.E.L.D. to open up a portal
That would unleash the aliens against defenseless mortals
Rogers, Stark, Romanoff, Thor, Banner, and Barton
Fought the hordes of Loki's army, the Chitauri, it was hard
But Tony threw a missile at the mothership and closed the hole up
Hulk slammed Loki, puny god, that was so nuts

Tony Stark is suffering from panic attacks and PTSD
Things are getting messy, televised Mandarin's very threatening
Feeling himself, Tony gave the world his real address
Helicopters bombed his home and then he almost drowned to death
Aldrich Killian is really the Mandarin, what a plot twist
Kidnapped the president then took Pepper Potts as a hostage
With Extremis in his body, Aldrich almost won the day
But Pepper's superhuman too, blew up a bullet in his face

Jane Foster fell in a portal infected by the Aether
Malekith, a dark elf, woke up and tried to reach her
Thor took her back to Asgard and tried to remove the substance
But Malekith killed his mother, Thor wanted justice
Vowing revenge, he got his brother Loki's assistance
On earth worlds are aligning, things are getting intense
With a little scientific equipment and hocus pocus
They opened a portal and killed Malekith with his own ship

Rogers and Romanoff were out working for S.H.I.E.L.D.
On a mission to retrieve encrypted data from the field
So Nick Fury's Helicarrier were now ready to fire
That's when cap discovered that S.H.I.E.L.D. was overrun by Hydra
Wilson joined the team, Winter Soldier tried to kill 'em
Rogers couldn't understand his friend was now a villain
Helicarrier overridden so Hydra couldn't pull the trigger
Steve refused to fight his friend so they all crashed into the river

Peter Quill is up in space plus Gamora, Groot, and Rocket
Get arrested and along with Drax they managed to escape
Tried to sell a magic orb but little did they know
The thing that they would try to sell was an Infinity Stone
Ronan stole it so he could kill every person on Xandar
The team beat him after distracting him with a dance-off
Groot sacrificed himself, yeah, that was a tragedy
But now the friends are known as the Guardians of the Galaxy

The Avengers fighting Hydra on the battlefield
Then unintentionally made a murder robot that'll kill
Ultron was born, he recruited the Maximoffs
But then they switched sides 'cause Ultron was gonna blast 'em all
Tony used the Mind Stone of J.A.R.V.I.S., call him Vision
In Sokovia, they battled a lot of robotic henchmen
All the citizens escaped, Pietro died protecting Barton
Ultron is destroyed but that's when Thanos goes and grabs his gauntlet

Scott Lang just got out of prison, times is real tough
Hank Pym tested him to see if he could steal stuff
Gave him the Ant-Man suit, shrunk him down to size
Hank's daughter Hope trained him up and taught him how to fight
A guy named Yellowjacket, he wanted to sell the secrets
Of the Pym particle to Hydra but he gets defeated
When Scott goes subatomic, barely made it out the quantum realm
Hope becomes The Wasp, these bad guys will not prevail

Bucky was impersonated to make it look like he killed the King of Wakanda
T'Challa wanted revenge, that's not the only problem
The UN tried to make 'em all sign some accords
Two opposing views that started a civil war
Spidey showed up to prove that he's a hero
Most of the conflict was caused by Baron Zemo
Steve stopped Tony from blowing Bucky to bits
You could say at this point the Avengers don't exist

Steven Strange used to be the world's best surgeon
Until he broke his hands, that's when he started searching
The ancient one and Mordo would train him at Kamar-Taj
In his studies, he would find out that magic can be dark
Kaecilius released Dormammu from the dark dimension
With the Eye of Agamoto, he's beaten into submission
With repetition the earth is safe and everybody thanked him
Now he's the master of the New York City sanctum

Guardians always on the run from different factions
The Scavangers and the Ravagers want a piece of the action
Quill finds out that he's the son of a Celestial
Mantis helps out, she knows Ego is unethical
With the help of Nebula, Kraglin, and Yondu
Baby Groot bombed the brain, Ego is fondue
Yondu saved Peter, sacrificed himself
Ravagers far and wide came along to pay respects

Next up is your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man
Every now and then he had to go and check with Iron Man
Peter Parker's fifteen fighting the hired goons
Of a flying thief, The Vulture, Adrian Toomes
Peter was dating his daughter, that was awkward
The two started fighting on the beach of Coney Island
Peter won, Stark and Happy invite him to the Avengers
But in the end, he knows he's not ready to be a member

Odin died, Hela's colder than an icebox
Crushed Thor's hammer then she knocked him off the Bifrost
Stranded on Sakaar, Thor is taken by a Valkyrie
And forced to fight the Hulk, that was almost a casualty
Him and his friends flew inside the Devil's Anus
And they made it back to Asgard, Hela's murders were heinous
They try to fight but realize they couldn't manage
Only way to kill his sister was to Ragnarok the planet

The Black Panther, leader of Wakanda
T'Challa's gotta deal with all the secrets of his father
Killmonger was abandoned on his own
But he defeated T'Challa, now he's standing on the throne
He wanted to use the Vibranium strictly as a weapon
That's when T'Challa stepped in, gave him his final lesson
With Shuri and M'Baku, it's a new administration
He knows that he should share his technology with the nations

To get the Stones, Thanos was on a mission
He planned to kill half of all life in existence
Heroes tried to fight but he's an unstoppable monster
To get the Soul Stone he killed his own daughter
In Wakanda, people getting slaughtered
Vision ends up dead, Thor hits him with Stormbreaker, shoulda gone for the head
He gave his fingers a snap, half the people turned to ash
Then he portaled to a planet where he sat back and relaxed

Before the snap, Scott Lang was helping Hank
By going to the quantum realm to find his wife from thirty years ago
A message suggested his wife was alive
But first Scott and Hope had to fight some bad guys
Ghost appeared, stole the shrunken lab, tried to fix her sickness
But they stole it back and got Janet out of there with the quickness
Janet gave Ghost quantum energy to stabilize
But then Thanos snaps, Scott's the only one that stayed alive

Vers was a Kree, crash-landed on the planet
Nick Fury tried to help her see the past and understand it
Turns out she's from earth and her real name is Danvers
She was fed a bunch of lies from her Kree commanders
She took out the implant that suppressed her powers
Indestructible, destroyed a fleet of Kree cowards
Now she helps the Skrulls find a place without danger
But if Nick Fury needs her all he's gotta do is page her

About a month after Thanos did the snap
The last of the Avengers found him cooking in a shack
Sliced his hand off but it's too late, he destroyed the Stones
So Thor chopped his head off, everybody went home
Five years later Scott made it out the quantum realm
He rushed to the Avengers and told them that he could offer help
Time heist, they would all just travel to the past
Get the Stone one by one, reverse the snap, then put 'em back

Nebula got caught and her double took her spot
For the Soul Stone Romanoff jumped off a rock
Everybody put their Stones inside of the nano gauntlet
Thor wanted to snap but Hulk told him "I got this"
The snap brought 'em back, Nebula planned a coup
She used the time machine to bring back Thanos and his crew
Thor and Tony Stark was trying hard to beat the Titan
Captain Rogers grabbed the hammer and he got a couple strikes in

Thanos knocked him down to the ground and broke his shield
Doctor Strange showed up and brought the heroes to the field
Portals began to open, Thanos began to tremble
Steve stepped out and said "Avengers Assemble"
Battlefield is full, Thanos army is no match
Tony grabbed the gauntlet snapping Thanos off the map
Tony sacrificed his life, at his funeral they wept
Captain Rogers grabbed the stones and took 'em back where they were kept

What's next? Peter Parker? I think that he's had enough
He wanted to go on vacation and ditch all the hero stuff
Nick Fury tracks him down, says he can't because he's needed
Peter meets Quentin Beck and just hands over E.D.I.T.H.
Turns out Quentin Beck is really just Mysterio
He'll murder anybody with illusions and some killer drones
Parker beats him, Spider-Tingle was the remedy
But then Beck told the world Spider-Man's identity

There you have it, that's what happened in the films
I hope that you could follow and didn't get overwhelmed
R.I.P. to Stan Lee, he was in every feature
Until phase four, peace to all the true believers