The Blank Husband Epidemic

(album: Aldhils Arboretum - 2002)

My Auntie Eleanor had a very unhappy husband
who hated his job and hated his life
So he wanted to drive his tan Chevy
off of a bridge because he hated his car
and he hated his life

He couldn't silence the ever present thought
”I'm doing all I can yet I'm an unsuccessful man”
And his heart was blank
don't we know what blank people are good for
what they are good for?

My Auntie Eleanor had a very unhappy husband
who just couldn't escape or catch a break
So he wanted to ride his bike
blindfolded into traffic
cause he hated his bike and he hated his life
His heart was consumed with guilt
from the knowledge he had not
become a successful man
he was an unsuccessful man
and his heart was blank
don't we know what blank people are good for
what they are good for?

Till one day my Auntie introduced him
to her friend named Gwendoline
and she must have made a stunning first impression
because he left my Auntie
and never came back again leaving with Gwendoline
But my Auntie didn't care
she knew she could find
another blank husband anywhere
by God they're everywhere

My Auntie Eleanor had a very unhappy husband