Reprieve

(album: Hella Personal Film Festival - 2016)

I was raised in a bubble
Face to the bubble
Face to the window, safe from the trouble
Crack-rock apocalypse, chased through the rubble
My auntie's a zombie, same as my uncle
Projects, we stay for a couple
Stayed in my inner space like Hubble
I came back to Earth but some days I struggle
These Western languages arranged like puzzles
I'm living off the late night hustle
Living off pain
Living off saying "I love you"
And there's no daylight in the jungle
Cause the police will beat the daylights from you
My insides rumble
I seek protection from the winds, I'm bundled
My ego's an inch high, humbled
Trying to resist, I got ten white knuckles
So I'm going back within in my bubble

I counted my accomplishments
When I was finished my whole shell dissolved
I fluctuate in confidence
It cost me so much to pretend I'm strong
I don't want to but I'm gone
I don't want to but I'm gone
I don't want to but I'm gone
I didn't want to but I'm gone

American anxiety dang, I be trying to hang
Start out shouting, now I'm quietly sang
If you can't be the president, but won't die in a gang
It's your stereotype but it's alive in my brain
So the effect is really kind of the same
Chains like I'm a slave
It's psychological so I can behave
In future days I be wondering why I was afraid
Why I was anxious while I could of raged
The hard bangs with the minds of the way
That makes waves when I push them away
It makes phrases that I wouldn't say
I can't hang but I'm trying to say
I got to run up in this cave for a couple of days
So I can not feel strange for a couple of days
I'm buckled up on a plane
I'm stuck wondering what it's gonna say
It's clinical
I'm fitted with this cynical gaze
I will emerge in a different way

I counted my accomplishments
When I was finished my whole shell dissolved
I fluctuate in confidence
It cost me so much to pretend I'm strong
I've crawled back in my shell again
I spent six months with my armor off
It only let some noises in
All the pictures and the lights is off
I don't want to but I'm gone
I don't want to but I'm gone
I don't want to but I'm gone