Respect

(album: What The Hell Happened To Me? - 1996)

[Nikki's grandfather:] hey, everybody! Nikki had his first day of school today!

[everybody:] oh, yeah, good nikki that's great. Respect!

[NG:] how ya doin Nikki?

[Nikki:] well, okay grandpa

[everyone:] oh, good he's okay. showin the respect. Respect!

[NG:(lights cigarette)] hey, Nikki tell us about your first day of school

[N:] School good! We do fingerpainting,

[ev:] oh, yeah, you gotta respect the fingerpainting. Yeah, respect the fingerpaint. Respect the smearing.

[NG:] alright, tell us some more Nikki!

[N:] we make pla-do,

[ev:] oh, you gotta love the pla-do. Respect the pla-do. give full respect to the pla-do. You put it, you roll it around, you show it respect.

[NG:] alright, did you smell the pa-do?

[N:] pla-do smell good!

[ev:] oh, you gotta respect the smell

[Sammy:] it's squishy! It's squishy!

[old men:] of course it's squishy, he knows it's squishy, it's pla-do. What are you, a moron? Sammy, shut the fuck up! My god, he's an idiot!

[NG:] tell grandpa some more

[N:] we have cookies and milk too!

[ev.:] oh, you gotta respect the cookies and milk. [scattered laughter] I respect cookies! Who doesn't respect cookies?!

[NG:] did you dunk it in the milk?

[N:] I dunk the cookie

[ev:] oh, you gotta respect the dunking. yeah. Ya gotta dunk it. Dunking's good. Respect the milk!

[N:] I like soggy cookies!

[Sammy:] respect the milk!

[om:] why, you fuckin moron. You must be an idiot! I just fuckin said that! You idiot!

[NG:] what else, nikki?

[N:] teacher read us 3 little pigs!

[ev:] oh, yeah respect the pigs. respect the bricks. Big respect for the pigs. You respect the pigs, they'll respect you.

[S:] don't respect the wolf!

[om:] Sammy, jump in front of a fuckin truck! You shut the fuck up sammy! Every single word that comes out of your fuckin mouth is so disrespectful!

[NG:] what else, Nikki?

[N:] well, I play on the playground, and I swing on the monkey bars...

[ev.:] oh, you gotta respect those monkey bars, man. gotta love thos monkey bars. And show the respect.

[N:(throughout chatter)] A boy pushed me off the see-saw.

[NG:] Quiet! quiet, everybody! What did you say?

[N:] A boy pushed me off the see-saw.

[NG:] and what is this boy's name?

[N:] his name Donny McMillan

[ev: (Slams Fist)] he's fuckin dead! He's a fucking dead man, you hear me? I'll fuckin cut his balls off and feed 'em to his fuckin mother! The kid's dead! This little fuck is dead!

[NG:] What else, Nikki?

[N:] I kiss a girl on the playground

[ev:] oh, respect for the young lover. Show respect, show respect.

[Sammy:] gotta respect the condom!

[om:] you fuckin moron, what are you talking about a condom you fuckin idiot? he's five fuckin years old! (I'm just sayin!) you fuckin idiot! I'll fuckin put a fuckin condom on your fuckin tombstone! Sammy, you're a moron!

[NG:] tell grandpa some more, Nikki

[N:] We sing the alphabet song!

[ev.:] Oh, you gotta respect the alphabet song. It's a good song! It's a good song, it helps you remember! You gotta respect it! Yeah, you gotta respect it!

[NG:] okay, let's hear you sing the song!

[S:] learnin

[om:] sammy, shutup!

[N:] ok:

[Starts singing very off-tone]

A,
B,
C,

[om:] oh, respect!

D,
E,

[om:] respect!

F,
G,

[Sammy:] oh, you gotta respect the song!

[om:] sammy, shut the fuck up! He's fuckin trying to sing a fuckin song here, you moron! show a little respect!

H,
I,
J,

[om:] oh, you gotta show respect.

K,
L,
M,
N,
O,
P,

[om:] respect, respect, respect, respect! Oh, they always go together

Q,
R,

[om:] oh, you gotta show the respect

S,
T,
U,
V,

[om:] oh, respect the v. good letter.

W,
X,
Y,
and Z!

[om:] oh, respect the completion. You gotta show respect for the kid, he's a smart one!

[N:] now I know my abc's

[ev.:] alright, we know the song. Alright, it's getting a little long. Let's move on.

[NG:] you do good in the spelling bee?

[N:] I can spell, grandpa!

[ev:] ah, respect the confidence! The kid can spell! Just like his grandfather his grandfather can spell!

[NG:] Okay, I'm gonna spell you something right now, and you tell me what I'm spellin okay?

[N:] okay grandpa

[NG:] okay, nikki?

[N:] okay, granpa

[NG:] you ready for this?

[N:] okay, granpa

[NG:] are you ready for this?

[N:] alright, grandpa!

[NG:] Alright, here we go!

[Old man:] R!

[OM:] E!

[OM:] S!

[OM:] P!

[S:] S!

[om:] what the fuck, s? Sammy what's fuckin wrong with you?!! You fuckin idiot! Where'd you learn to fuckin spell?!...

[NG:] alright my little angel, we're gonna spell the word for you again, and you're gonna tell grandpa what we're spellin, alright? Here we go,

[N:] Okay!

[NG:] and Sammy, you're gonna keep your fuckin trap shut!

[S:] consider it done!

[OM:] R!

[OM:] E!

[OM:] S!

[OM:] P!

[OM:] E!

[OM:] C!

[OM:] T!

[N:] uuuh,.....respect!

[ev:] respect! He got it, the kid's got it! He's one of us! He's got it!

Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!

[chant fades]