WhyDoesNothingseemToLast?

(album: Where Is Your God Now? - 2018)

Never seem to last, every time I make friends
A couple months pass, see, that's when the trail ends
Snakes in the grass, had to cut to see the serpents
Are you a friend or enemy, I really can't be certain
My only healing process: when I pour my heart through verses
And If we being real, I feel like I ain't got no purpose
I hate myself, I don't even like me as a person
Barely getting any sleep, I'm always tossing, turning
Don't even socialize 'cause I know it's gon' cause me hurt
'Cause people come and go, from all these years, that's what I learnt
I'm real with others, but the realness they do not return
Kindness my weakness, fighting demons overthinking things
Trying hard to not succumb to my thoughts frequently
Broke my own heart, to be heartless, darkness, it feed on me
I'd rather be alone with the all lights off, just leave me be
False confidence, cover up my insecurities
Been having suicidal thoughts since I was like fifteen
Depression like adhesive, how it always stick with me
Music the only reason I ain't fucking ended things
But I still question if anybody would be missing me
I talk to fans and I be happy but the moment brief
And I don't really understand why I feel misery
But long as I be saving others from my misery

I'm on my own again, I don't care about myself, but I care about you, I care about you, I won't change, [?]
Don't say that, never say that, Goonies never say die

I'm antisocial but it's funny I want company
'Cause when I see somebody I can barely fucking speak
And I don't even feel like I belong there, like I need to leave
And lock myself inside my room like that's the only place for me
Where I could be myself at least or feel accepted 'cause I'm weak
And haven't socialized in years so I just feel like I'm a freak
I just feel like I'm a freak
Fuck anxiety, fuck depression, fuck all of this stress
All this pain that I feel in this heart in my chest
Really feeling like I'm heartless
Don't even know where my heart is
Fine (Fuck)