E3: The Musical

(album: Random Encounters: Season 4 - 2014)

Here in L.A., we once a year have a day
Where all the games that we play are shown!
New shiny tech is all around, and I suspect
That, for geeks, it's a week of wonder
When you attend E3.
It's that time which I dread,
When I wish that I was dead...
Every geek, dweeb and dork is in my way!
Crowds of nerds pack en masse
They smell like armpits and ass
Emble in lines far to long to play!
Every game that I try,
Simply makes me want to die.
"Cutting edge and next gen,"
The spokesmen say.
I don't need a new controller,
Add-ons fill my soul with dolor
And I never like a single night's soiree!
Each exhibit's so exciting!
There's free stuff all around!
The booth babes simply sweep me off my feet!
I'll play every single system,
Games both unknown and renowned...
Every day's full of awe and wonder
When you attend E3!
Nothing here's impressive!
The B.O.'s oppresive!
The fanboys are obsessive you see
All these games... (Registration! Presentation!)
Look the same... (Demonstration! Education!)
This whole show's (Innovation! Simulation!)
Super lame! (Application! Acclamation!)
Here at E3... (This game is dull and broken...)
Our gaming future's waiting! (I'd like to use Hadoken)
Come and you'll see... (Cash-ins and sequels...)
What all the world's creating! (Clearly this Equals)
You'll have the best time ever... (You'll have the worst time ever...)
When you attend E3! (When you attend E3!)