Everybody Ends Up Ugly

(album: Wrong Songs: Musings From The Shallow End - 2023)

He was a big star quarterback
He used to get all the chicks
With hair that was long and a chiseled-out jaw
Made 'em all lose their shit
Yeah, now he's all bald and he's shaped like a hog
He can barely fit through the door
It's safe to say, the next time he gets laid
It's probably gonna be in a morgue

Everybody ends up ugly
Ain't nobody exempt
Everybody ends up ugly
Ugly as an ol' mud fence

She was a high school hottie
She won every pageant she was in
The kind that made the other girls nervous
When she got around their boyfriends
Yeah, she was a sun bronzed beauty
A vision on a tropic lagoon
Now she just looks way damn overcooked
Wrinkled as a dried-up prune

Yeah, everybody ends up ugly
Ain't nobody exempt
Everybody ends up ugly
Uglier than hammered shit

Yeah, now I'm just speaking from experience ya'll
I used to look pretty decent myself
But now I got a face that's seen better days
And a belly like a liberty bell
Yeah, I try to eat good, like I know I should
Hell, I even backed off the beer
With each day that passes, if I'm wearing my glasses
It's abso-freakin'-lutely clear

Yeah, everybody ends up ugly
Ain't nobody exempt
Everybody ends up ugly
That means you too my friend!
Ha ha

Just stop looking in the mirror so much
Trust me!