What Have I Done?

(album: To Whom It May Consume - 1999)

[Steaknife:]
And why my mind is teasing me, I guess I never win
But then again I never play the part to blend
Cerebellum telling lies, yelling why, taunting me to die
Anxiety, suicide, self prescribe to heal my hearts cry
So why do I continue crushin lithium 180 and eat it
Digging in my skin to find myself within and make amends
But I really don't seem give a war frags ass
Pulling glass out my scalp after driving off a cliff
I insist to let my anger out, what's that all about
I'm in doubt wondering who's in control
Cause I sure as hell ain't, I'm having conflicts with my soul
I was created to die so I'm living for no apparent reason
Constant change in personality for worst that fit disease
And wear it since slate and corruption cause a mental pollution
There's no solution, why bother
Say hello to heaven, I'm going to meet my father...

[*gunshot*]

[Danny Boone:]
What have I done? Oh no
Where am I going? I can't change my mind this time
What have I done? Oh no
Where am I going? I can't change my mind this time

[Brooks Buford:]
What the Mach 5 flying fuck
I'm stuck inside my brain, a shitty disposition
My position sucks, peeping out my image in the chromosome
My genetics infected like diabetics with the curse of home alone
When the bullet hits the bone, angels and goddesses will probably leave my ass like multi serve convictions while I hit the ditches
No matter, chrome blow out my bladder on the wallpaper
I been living for love and ain't no loving found me later
Obnoxiously terrorized and traumatized by the mush behind my eyes
A pair of creamy thighs and shifty lies
Environmental influences mixed with chemical making me cynical
Seeking no miracles, just tentacles
Scoping the life out of my once beautiful childhood
Burning thoughts in my arm it's all good, oh word
I guess should polish up the nickel, let the blood trickle
Lay my head back, I'm free baby, I wanted you to know that...

[*gunshot*]

[Danny Boone:]
What have I done? Oh no
Where am I going? I can't change my mind this time
What have I done? Oh no
Where am I going? I can't change my mind this time

(They push you down)

My parental units trippin, that's a typical topic
My bitch is bugging, bangin a brother with bigger feet
I wondering if she's hollering, screaming, and swallowing semen
My mind race, court dates close in
I promise I can fix it and good intentions got me this
I reminisce about 25, 12 month increments, what went wrong
They sexin in the clouds then I was born it seems
Condemned to mediocrity, insecurity
Manipulated by the sadness of my nuclear status as ever
Fallacy surrounds me, lies manifested since birth
Highs don't gratify
Fetal position, teary eyed
Weary with blurry visions, staring at static
Got the key to stop the madness underneath my mattress
Sorry motherfuckers you win, you happy now
I shoulda thought about this when I was child
Talk about me over a beer next year
Fuck it I'm out of here...

[*gunshot*]

[Danny Boone:]
What have I done? Oh no
Where am I going? I can't change my mind this time
What have I done? Oh no
Where am I going? I can't change my mind this time