Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 29)

(album: Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 23–33 - 2012)

[Reverend Moseley:]
Lo-o-o-o-ve and happiness! Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!
An old buddy of mine, Al Green, said it best
Can I get an amen up in here?
Now, some of y'all may don't know I used to sing background for that man
'Til God came in and swooped me up off my feets
And He-e-e-e-e-e, oh, he could do the same for you
He can make it right
Well, I got something here that'll change your very life
Thank you, God
The Reverend James Moseley Ministry presents my book
And it's an excellent read
I'm telling you, it's gon' touch you, yeah, in your heart
The Spirit telling me somebody out there need a brand-new start
And if that's you, then this is it
"Trapped in the Closet: The Book"
Now-now, I don't mean to brag
But it's the Bible, and it's this, hallelujah
Now all you gotta do is...

[Narrator:]
Reverend Moseley starts to preach on about the book, and what it takes to get one...

[Reverend Moseley:]
Ju-u-u-u-st send in $29.95 and that's a discount
So do it now, and this "Trapped in the Closet" book is yo-o-o-o-o-urs

[Narrator:]
Tina and Roxanne in the restaurant
Roxanne says, "Jackleg preacher, he's so full of shit"
Then Tina says, "Don't say that, girl, he's a preacher!"
Roxanne says, "I know a preacher when I see one
And he ain't no preacher. Tina, there's so much I've got to teach you"
Then Tina's eye starts blinking again like it did before
She throws the broom on the floor and says, "I can't take this shit no more!"

[Roxanne:]
Now, Tina, listen to me...

[Tina:]
No, you listen to me! I'm tired of you telling me what to do...

[Roxanne:]
Girl, don't forget who you talking to!

[Tina:]
Like you running me!

[Roxanne:]
Bitch, that pimp-slap must've made you crazy!

[Tina:]
Roxanne, you are the reason I ain't got a father for my baby!

[Roxanne:]
Now I ain't gon' listen to too much more of this shit! Now, bitch, you way out of line!

[Tina:]
Nooooooooo, bitch! You way out of time!

[Roxanne:]
And just what is that supposed to mean?

[Tina:]
I'm going to find Twan. I'm so over this scene

[Tina:]
See, I appreciate everything Roxanne did for me when Twan was in prison
But Twan is out now, and it's time for Tina to make her own damn decisions
Yeah, I slept with Roxanne a couple of times, and I gotta admit, it was cool
I needed a job and a place to live, but I'm tired of playing by the fucking rules
So, anyway, we both got a phone call to come on some TV show
To talk about the shit, at first I said no, but you know what? I think I'm gonna go

[Roxanne:]
I don't know who the hell she think she is if she think she can talk to me this way
She got another thing coming, let me tell you something, she gon' fuck around, make me catch a case
Took her black ass in, gave her a job, and oh, she wanna forget about the past
Twan? She crazy, she think she leaving me for his gorilla body-having ass, okay?

[Theme song:]
Being in love should be a crime
Driving me out of my mind