Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 33)

(album: Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 23–33 - 2012)

[Twan:]
Man, you ain't gotta worry about nothing, bro-in-law...

[Narrator:]
While Sylvester and Twan is walking down the alley, Sylvester is telling him more, and as they get closer, you hear the rap music beating through the door, and then...

[Sylvester knocks on the door]

[Bankhead:]
What the fuck?!

[Sylvester:]
Bankhead, it's me, yo

[Bankhead:]
I say, what the fuck, niggas?

[Twan:]
Man, just calm d...

[Sylvester:]
Dude, I'm just here to see Beeno

[Bankhead:]
Tell Beeno that Sylvester and some strange-looking-ass nigga out here to holler at him!

[Goon, from background:]
He said bring 'em in!

He said bring 'em in!

He said bring 'em in!

[Bankhead:]
Bring y'all ass in

[Twan:]
Hmph

[Bankhead:]
Wait. Don't "Hmph" me, nigga. I'll pop your nugget. Get y'all ass on in there

[Sylvester:]
Damn, you've gotten grumpy in your old age

[Bankhead:]
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Motherfuckers, move

[Sylvester:]
All right, all right, have a cigar

[Bankhead:]
Man, the only thing I'ma be smoking 'round this bitch is you two fools

[Narrator:]
Then Twan and Sylvester, they walk in, and then they make a left (left), and then a right (right), and downstairs (stairs), and keep straight (keep straight)...

[Bankhead:]
Keep walking motherfucker

[Sylvester:]
Easy, man

[Narrator:]
Then they make another left (another left), and another left (and another left), and up the stairs (and up the stairs), third floor (third floor), elevator (elevator)...

[Goon 1:]
Come on, motherfucker, move your fat Italian ass on outta here!

[Italian:]
Ooh, my eye!

[Goon 2:]
Yeah, message from Beeno, bitch!

[Italians:]
You motherfuckers gonna pay for this!

[Goon 1:]
Yeah, whatever. Move your fat ass!

[Narrator:]
...and through some doors, and next thing you know, Sylvester says, "My man, Beeno! What up, player?"

[Beeno:]
Don't come in here with that sweet talk, nigga. Mmm. Now just sit y'all ass down in these chairs

[Narrator:]
Beeno mean-mugs them both and says, "Now who is this motherfucker?"

[Sylvester:]
My bro-in-law, man, he's cool

[Bankhead:]
Beeno, should I pop his nugget?

[Beeno:]
Bankhead... Sylvester, you know the rules, mmm

[Sylvester:]
Yeah, you right, that's my bad, Beeno, but after this we got some place to be. So can we get right down to business? It's all good, baby

[Beeno:]
Yeah, it better be

[Beeno tries to clear his throat]

[Twan:]
Can he get a water?

[Bankhead:]
Shut up, motherfucker!

[Beeno:]
Nigga, talk to me

[Sylvester:]
Well, I'ma make it quick. There's some real heavy shit coming out of Miami, and I know some niggas in Atlanta that's gonna move it for me

[Beeno:]
Yeah, and just what kind of heavy shit are we talking about here, mmm?

[Sylvester:]
Heavy shit. Now, Beeno, man, let me tell you the lick...

[Narrator:]
Now Sylvester tries to whisper through it, but it's hard to talk over all the rap music

[Sylvester:]
We can get this money, it's an in-and-out, maybe I can buy one of these stallions!

[Sylvester and Twan, then stop as Beeno's thugs points their guns at their heads]

[Beeno:]
Shit ain't funny. You think I'm a dummy? I know you're doing deals with the Italians

[Beeno seems to choke while a Godfather-like opera theme plays]

[Sylvester:]
Look, Beeno, man, it ain't nothing...

[Beeno bangs the table, then laughs three times]

[Goon:]
That's funny

[Beeno:]
So tell me, how Joey doin'? Fucking rat, mmm. Spaghetti and meatball-eating motherfucker popped me on a Chicago deal, mmm, way back

[Narrator:]
Now, Twan look at Sylvester, Sylvester look at Twan, then they look at Beeno and all of his goons, and out of nowhere, Twan stands up and says, "Man, ain't nobody trying to play you!" Then Bankhead says, "Sit the fuck down before I bobble your head!" Then Sylvester remembers Twan's gun is in a holster on his leg. Beeno screams, "You motherfuckers come up in my establishment, mmm, and disrespect me, mmm? Bankhead, take 'em out back!"

[Sylvester:]
Now wait a minute!

[Narrator:]
Twan hits one goon, then he kicks another, and Sylvester pulls the gun out on Beeno and says, "Don't make me shoot you, my brother! Now back up!"

[Beeno:]
Mmm...

[Sylvester:]
Motherfuckers, back up!

[Narrator:]
Then Twan takes Bankhead's gun and says, "You heard what he said, motherfuckers, don't act up!" Then Beeno says, "Your families... friends, mmm... they won't live to see the weekend, mmm." Sylvester keeps the gun at Beeno's head, they all can't do nothing but stare. They backed up to the door, Twan says, "Let's go", then they ran the fuck up out of there...

[Sylvester:]
Oh, shit! Come on, Twan, run!

[Twan:]
Sylvester, this is the way we go!

[Sylvester:]
No! We gotta get to the show! This way!

[Beeno:]
Them motherfuckers better not make it a block, mmm, or all you motherfuckers gon' get shot, mmm

[Bankhead, kicking doors open:]
Get them motherfuckers!

Wait, there they go!

[Narrator:]
Ooh, yeah
Twan, Sylvester, on the run
Gotta get away from goons with guns tonight
(Get away, get away)

[Bankhead:]
Catch them motherfuckers!

[Narrator:]
Running, diving, bullets flying
I ain't lying, Beeno wants their lives, oh
(But not tonight)

I run (They can't catch me)
I dodge (They can't catch me)
I duck (They can't catch me)
Speed up (They can't catch me)
I run (They can't catch me)
I dodge (They can't catch me)
I duck (They can't catch me)
Speed up (They can't catch me)
I run (They can't catch me)
I dodge (They can't catch me)
I duck (They can't catch me)
Speed up, whoo!

[Sylvester:]
Hold up. Wait right here

[Twan:]
Man, why we gotta wait right here, when these motherfuckers chasing...

[Sylvester:]
Shh, shh...

[Twan, whispering:]
Sylvester, when these motherfuckers chasing us with all these guns?

[Sylvester:]
Twan! I know what I'm doing

[Bankhead:]
Come on out, punk-ass motherfuckers!

[Twan:]
Man, let's just keep running

[Sylvester:]
Nigga, no. And besides, we at the backstage door

[Twan:]
Backstage door of what?

[Sylvester:]
The backstage door of the show

[Twan:]
You shitting me?

[Sylvester:]
Now, let's go

[Twan:]
Sylvester, you mother...

[Director:]
Hurry up, guys, you're late

[Announcer:]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the "Out of the Closet Show!" Now give it up for your host, Larry!

[Larry:]
Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Welcome

[Audience, chanting:]
Larry! Larry! Larry! Larry!...