Family

(album: This Is How The World Ends - 2021)

Taste bitter on a guilty tongue
It's hard to see I'm the chosen one
Fake friends with a camera phone
Ugly, drunk, cold, and missing home

This home of mine
I see it in my dreams
Where everyone looks happy
And everyone still likes me
This home of mine
I miss it all the time
What happened to this family?
What happened to this family?
(Have I let you down?)

Texts, calls, hugs, birthday cards
Being thoughtful can be so hard
First fifteen years, I'm the favorite son
Last fifteen years, I'm the hated one

This heart of mine
Gets blacker all the time
Affection makes me nauseous
Believe me, I don't want this
I hurt my blood tonight
I made my sisters cry
I never say "I love you"
Even though I want to
I'm just my father's son
My mother's kid
A shitty brother
I'm nobody's friend
This is all my fault
I only make you cry
I don't deserve this family
(You're better off without me)

'Cause I let you down
And I lost my fucking mind
Then everything got messy
And everyone got angry
I cursed my blood tonight
It happens all the time
Is everyone against me?
Has everyone goddamned me?
What happened to this family?
What happened to this family?
What happened to this family?
What happened to this family?

Don't hate me
Don't hate me
Don't let me drown

I hate goodbyes
So cringey, I could die
We only say "I love you"
'Cause that's what we're supposed to
And most families lie
But I meant it every time
Then treat you like you're worthless
I never said I'm perfect