Going Home

(album: We All Got Lost - 2018)

Fuck this shit, I'm going home
In the middle of the city, but I'm all alone
Me and all my skeletons, dancing in my helmet
If this is being alive, then make me bones

I was s'posed to reach the apex, the mountain top
Yell down at my mom like, "Here, ma, look"
I didn't even get to march at graduation
Got suspended stealing money from the year—what, huh?—book
Was s'posed to have straight A's, then I went crooked
If there is a God, I hope He's not looking
I jackknifed at the fork in the road
Now the devil want a spoon, wrong turn, I took it
I had no drop top, raindrop, at the trainstop
Wish I made my brain stop, feel your person
Devil worship, always sinning
Never working, head to prison
All I hear is alarms and sirens sounding (ah)
Stress, regrets, a thousand
And all the hammerheads are pounding, all the debt surrounding
In and out my house, and metro set the bar, forgot about it
Somebody help me

Help me
I think I need therapy
But I can't afford it

Stressed, expectations not met
Stressed, heart ping pong in my chest
Stressed, got no real amigos, I'm offset
Stressed, all downhill like bobsled
And it feel like suffocation
I don't think I'll make it
'Cause I had my chance and blew it, water turned to sewage
What the fuck I'm doin'? What the fuck I'm doin'? Everything is ruined
I'm trapped, laying on my back
In the squalor, heart pound like English dollar
Let me smoke a bowl to calm my nerves
Whoops, didn't work, now I'm paranoid even worse
So I text my ex's phone just to get some dome
She said I did wrong, so she moving on
And she groaning 'cause I'm not grown
Took out all these loans just to feel alone
Thought I'd get a standing ovation
Guess that was my 'magination
All of my procrastination
All this academic probation
Thoughts race like horses
I hope you're not recording
'Cause I feel wasted, dumb and arrogant, doubts, endless comparisons
Grades is just embarrassing, faceless young American

Nowhere to hide
Through this voice inside my mind
I just need to drown in the loud
I know this is a temporary fix
But you're wrong
I've got tonight

Fuck this shit, I'm going home
In the middle of the city, but I'm all alone
Me and all my skeletons, dancing in my helmet
If this is being alive, then make me bones

Expectations (expectations, pectations)
I thought I was gonna be a god
Would do I do now that I'm not?
Nowhere to hide
Through this voice inside my mind
I just need to drown in the loud

Fuck this shit, I'm going home