Things I Want

Ho ho ho
So many Christmas letters
So many wishes
Lucy wants a squeezy doll
Jimmy wants a moon rocket
Oh, this list's rather long

Yeah!

Hey now Santa I'm writing to you
'Cause there's a lot of cool shit I want
I know I've been naughty but cut me some slack
'Cause there's a lot of cool shit I want

So here's my list-a
So check it out twice-a

I want
A solid gold Harley with machine guns on the front
I want
A Mötley Crüe lunch box filled with sticky buns

I want a see-through jumpsuit that fits me tight
I want all of the Beatles copyrights
I wanna chop Florida off the map
I want Pamela Anderson's Speedo top

So there you go Santa there's my Christmas list
That's all the cool shit I want
But wait a minute Santa there's some things I missed
There's still a lot of cool shit I want

So here's my list-a
So check it out twice-a

I want
A time machine and a BB gun
I want
A statue of Moby on the surface of the sun
I want
To party naked on a school bus full of nuns
I want
A bumper pool table and a robot pelican

There you go Santa I'm sure you'll agree
That there's some really cool shit I want
I know I've been naughty but I guarantee
That I deserve every single one

So take my list-a
And check it out twice-a
I know I've been naughty
But life ain't nice-a
P.S. I still-a
Need some more shit-a

I want
A diamond hyena shooting fire from his butt
I want
A cannibal chef to cook me sweet and sour buns
I want
A magical sleigh that's pulled by flying skunks
I want
All the cool shit I want!