Failure

(album: White Light From The Mouth Of Infinity - 1991)

I, I've been lonely
And I, I've been blind
And I, I've learned nothing
So my hands are firmly tied
To the sinking leadweight of failure

I've worked hard all my life
Money slips through my hands
My face in the mirror tells me it's no surprise
That I'm pushing the stone up the hill of failure

They tempt me with violence
They punish me with ideals
And they crush me with an image of my life that's nothing but unreal
Except on the goddamned slaveship of failure

I'll drown here trying to get up for some air
But each time I think I breathe
I'm laid on with a double share
Of the punishing burden of failure

I don't deserve to be down here
But I'll never leave
And I've learned one thing
You can't escape the beast
In the null and void pit of failure

When I get my hands on some money
I'll kiss its green skin
And I'll ask its dirty face
"Where the hell have you been?"
"I am the fuel that fires the engine of failure"

I'll be old and broken down
I'll forget who and where I am
I'll be senile or forgotten
But I'll remember and understand
You can bank your hard-earned money on failure

I saw my father crying
I saw my mother break her hand on a wall that wouldn't weep
But that certainly held in
The mechanical moans of a dying man who was a failure

My back hurts me when I bend because I carry a load
My brain hurts me like a knife-hole
Because I've yet to be shown
How to pull myself out from the sucking quicksand of failure

Some people live in Hell
Many bastards succeed
But I, I've learned nothing
I can't even elegantly bleed
Out the poison blood of failure