I'm Afraid (Dawn's Song Of Fears)

(album: Girls5eva - 2021)

I'm afraid of heights, afraid of trying
And I'm afraid I might have been
A little stupid to write this song
I'm afraid that during high winds
The stop sign will uproot and decapitate me
Or that I might thrive under Scientology

I'm afraid that after I die
Someone will have sex with my dead body
And be like, "Not worth it"
I'm afraid I could raise a son
Who'd get radicalized on Reddit
Or that he'll Back to the Future and I'll think he's hot

I'm afraid that I'll accidentally
Text a pic of my vagina to my dad
And I'm afraid that on Ancestry.com
I might find out I have a bunch of half siblings
And they'll want to be in my life

I'm afraid that if I got an awful disease
I wouldn't be brave
I'd just be a bitch and be mean
Or if I needed emergency heart surgery
The doctor would go, "Hello nipple hair"

Sometimes I'm afraid to hold a new baby
What if I lose control of my arms for a second?
And throw it at the ceiling fan or something like that
Can't I trust my arms?

And I'm afraid, that under every bus stop is a sinkhole of rats
And I'm afraid, they lie about expiration dates and my hummus is fungus
And afraid that the second I leave town, I'll get a UTI
Why can't they just sell those pills over the counter?
I don't need a doctor
I know exactly what it is

Oh, back to my kid
I have more stuff about him
I only breastfed for four months
Is he gonna be a bond trader?
And I'm afraid that if I'm lucky enough to be 80
I'll be one of those ladies
Who's entire scalp is visible
When the sun shines through her salmon colored hair
And I'm afraid that someone will find out
That I memorized all the words to Macklemore's "Thrift Shop"
Or that I bought seven seasons of The Mentalist

And of course, I'm afraid
That somewhere, deep inside of me
Is a lost tampon

Where did you go?
Where did you go?
I am afraid