Waffle King

(album: Alapalooza - 1993)

It took a lifetime, but I finally found
The perfect waffle recipe
You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinking town
One little bite and I'm sure that you'll agree

Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak
Aw, you're gonna lick your plate clean
People come from miles around just to study my technique
I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen

I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King)... yeah
Waffle King (Waffle King)
That's what they call me
Waffle King (Waffle King)
Hey, I'm the Waffle King

Everywhere I go, the people cheer
I never have to wait in line
People say, "Right this way, sir... Your money's no good here.'
Some day I betcha they'll build me a shrine

And everybody say, "Well, I'm your biggest fan!"
"I seen your picture in People Magazine!"
Folks come from around the world just to shake my hand
If you don't believe in the power of the waffle lemme show you just what I mean

I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King)
Make you want to scream and shout
Waffle King (Waffle King)
That's my name, don't wear it out
Waffle King (Waffle King)
Make no mistake about it I'm the Waffle King... yeah

Roll out the red carpet, 'cause here I come
All you peons better scram
Out of my way, you worthless piece of scum
Don't you know who I am?
Hey!

I wanna see you grovel, you waffle-eating fools
Everybody, on your knees
You wanna buy a waffle, you're playing by my rules
Go on, beg me... lemme hear you say "pretty please"

Can't you tell the universe revolves around me?
Don't you know you suckers owe me everything?
And can't you see that I'm the highest form of life that there could ever be?
Everybody all around the world, stand up and sing
Come on know...

Waffle King
Hey, batter batter
Waffle King
Hot on your platter
Waffle King
Say, what's the matter
Don't you know who I am?
Don't you know who I am?
Tell 'em, girls
(He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King)
Yeah yeah
(He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King)
Tell the truth now
(He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King)
Don't you know who I am?
Don't you know who I am?